The Clouds [3]
emaciated creatures.) Ah! by Heracles! what country are
those animals from?
DISCIPLE
Why, what are you astonished at? What do you think they resemble?
STREPSIADES
The captives of Pylos. But why do they look so fixedly on the
ground?
DISCIPLE
They are seeking for what is below the ground.
STREPSIADES
Ah! they're looking for onions. Do not give yourselves so much
trouble; I know where there are some, fine big ones. But what are
those fellows doing, bent all double?
DISCIPLE
They are sounding the abysses of Tartarus.
STREPSIADES
And what are their arses looking at in the heavens?
DISCIPLE
They are studying astronomy on their own account. But come in so
that the master may not find us here.
STREPSIADES
Not yet; not yet; let them not change their position. I want to
tell them my own little matter.
DISCIPLE
But they may not stay too long in the open air and away from
school.
STREPSIADES (pointing to a celestial globe)
In the name of all the gods, what is that? Tell me.
DISCIPLE
That is astronomy.
STREPSIADES (pointing to a map)
And that?
DISCIPLE
Geometry.
STREPSIADES
What is that used for?
DISCIPLE
To measure the land.
STREPSIADES
But that is apportioned by lot.
DISCIPLE
No, no, I mean the entire earth.
STREPSIADES
Ah! what a funny thing! How generally useful indeed is this
invention!
DISCIPLE
There is the whole surface of the earth. Look! Here is Athens.
STREPSIADES
Athens! you are mistaken; I see no courts in session.
DISCIPLE
Nevertheless it is really and truly the Attic territory.
STREPSIADES
And where are my neighbours of Cicynna?
DISCIPLE
They live here. This is Euboea; you see this island, that is so
long and narrow.
STREPSIADES
I know. Because we and Pericles have stretched it by dint of
squeezing it. And where is Lacedaemon?
DISCIPLE
Lacedaemon? Why, here it is, look.
STREPSIADES
How near it is to us! Think it well over, it must be removed to
a greater distance.
DISCIPLE
But, by Zeus, that is not possible.
STREPSIADES
Then, woe to you! and who is this man suspended up in a basket?
DISCIPLE
That's himself.
STREPSIADES
Who's himself?
DISCIPLE
Socrates.
STREPSIADES
Socrates! Oh! I pray you, call him right loudly for me.
DISCIPLE
Call him yourself; I have no time to waste. (He departs. The
machine swings in SOCRATES in a basket.)
STREPSIADES
Socrates! my little Socrates!
SOCRATES (loftily)
Mortal, what do you want with me?
STREPSIADES
First, what are you doing up there? Tell me, I beseech you.
SOCRATES (POMPOUSLY)
I am traversing the air and contemplating the sun.
STREPSIADES
Thus it's not on the solid ground, but from the height of this
basket, that you slight the gods, if indeed....
SOCRATES
I have to suspend my brain and mingle the subtle essence of my
mind with this air, which is of the like nature, in order clearly to
penetrate the things of heaven. I should have discovered nothing,
had I remained on the ground to consider from below the things that
are above; for the earth by its force attracts the sap of the mind
to itself. It's just the same with the watercress.
STREPSIADES
What? Does the mind attract the sap of the watercress? Ah! my dear
little Socrates, come down to me! I have come to ask you for lessons.
SOCRATES (descending)
And for what lessons?
STREPSIADES
I want to learn how to speak. I have borrowed money, and my
merciles creditors do not leave me a moment's peace; all my goods
are at stake.
SOCRATES
And how was it you did not see that you were getting so much
into debt?
STREPSIADES
My ruin has been the madness for horses,
those animals from?
DISCIPLE
Why, what are you astonished at? What do you think they resemble?
STREPSIADES
The captives of Pylos. But why do they look so fixedly on the
ground?
DISCIPLE
They are seeking for what is below the ground.
STREPSIADES
Ah! they're looking for onions. Do not give yourselves so much
trouble; I know where there are some, fine big ones. But what are
those fellows doing, bent all double?
DISCIPLE
They are sounding the abysses of Tartarus.
STREPSIADES
And what are their arses looking at in the heavens?
DISCIPLE
They are studying astronomy on their own account. But come in so
that the master may not find us here.
STREPSIADES
Not yet; not yet; let them not change their position. I want to
tell them my own little matter.
DISCIPLE
But they may not stay too long in the open air and away from
school.
STREPSIADES (pointing to a celestial globe)
In the name of all the gods, what is that? Tell me.
DISCIPLE
That is astronomy.
STREPSIADES (pointing to a map)
And that?
DISCIPLE
Geometry.
STREPSIADES
What is that used for?
DISCIPLE
To measure the land.
STREPSIADES
But that is apportioned by lot.
DISCIPLE
No, no, I mean the entire earth.
STREPSIADES
Ah! what a funny thing! How generally useful indeed is this
invention!
DISCIPLE
There is the whole surface of the earth. Look! Here is Athens.
STREPSIADES
Athens! you are mistaken; I see no courts in session.
DISCIPLE
Nevertheless it is really and truly the Attic territory.
STREPSIADES
And where are my neighbours of Cicynna?
DISCIPLE
They live here. This is Euboea; you see this island, that is so
long and narrow.
STREPSIADES
I know. Because we and Pericles have stretched it by dint of
squeezing it. And where is Lacedaemon?
DISCIPLE
Lacedaemon? Why, here it is, look.
STREPSIADES
How near it is to us! Think it well over, it must be removed to
a greater distance.
DISCIPLE
But, by Zeus, that is not possible.
STREPSIADES
Then, woe to you! and who is this man suspended up in a basket?
DISCIPLE
That's himself.
STREPSIADES
Who's himself?
DISCIPLE
Socrates.
STREPSIADES
Socrates! Oh! I pray you, call him right loudly for me.
DISCIPLE
Call him yourself; I have no time to waste. (He departs. The
machine swings in SOCRATES in a basket.)
STREPSIADES
Socrates! my little Socrates!
SOCRATES (loftily)
Mortal, what do you want with me?
STREPSIADES
First, what are you doing up there? Tell me, I beseech you.
SOCRATES (POMPOUSLY)
I am traversing the air and contemplating the sun.
STREPSIADES
Thus it's not on the solid ground, but from the height of this
basket, that you slight the gods, if indeed....
SOCRATES
I have to suspend my brain and mingle the subtle essence of my
mind with this air, which is of the like nature, in order clearly to
penetrate the things of heaven. I should have discovered nothing,
had I remained on the ground to consider from below the things that
are above; for the earth by its force attracts the sap of the mind
to itself. It's just the same with the watercress.
STREPSIADES
What? Does the mind attract the sap of the watercress? Ah! my dear
little Socrates, come down to me! I have come to ask you for lessons.
SOCRATES (descending)
And for what lessons?
STREPSIADES
I want to learn how to speak. I have borrowed money, and my
merciles creditors do not leave me a moment's peace; all my goods
are at stake.
SOCRATES
And how was it you did not see that you were getting so much
into debt?
STREPSIADES
My ruin has been the madness for horses,