The Color Purple - Alice Walker [77]
This son we staying with is name James. His wife is name Cora Mae. They have two kids name Davis and Cantrell. He say he thought something was funny bout his mama (my mama) cause she and big daddy was so old and strict and set in they ways. But still, he felt a lot of love from them, he say.
Yeah son, I tell him. They had a lot of love to give. But I needed love plus understanding. They run a little short of that.
They been dead now, he say. Nine or ten years. Sent us all to school as far as they could.
You know I never think bout mama and daddy. You know how tough I think I is. But now that they dead and I see my children doing well, I like to think about them. Maybe when I come back I can put some flowers on they graves.
Oh, she write me now near bout every week. Long newsy letters full of stuff she thought she had forgot. Plus stuff bout the desert and the Indians and the rocky mountains. I wish I could be traveling with her, but thank God she able to do it. Sometimes I feel mad at her. Feel like I could scratch her hair right off her head. But then I think, Shug got a right to live too. She got a right to look over the world in whatever company she choose. Just cause I love her don’t take away none of her rights.
The only thing bother me is she don’t never say nothing bout coming back. And I miss her. I miss her friendship so much that if she want to come back here dragging Germaine I’d make them both welcome, or die trying. Who am I to tell her who to love? My job just to love her good and true myself.
Mr. _____ ast me the other day what it is I love so much bout Shug. He say he love her style. He say to tell the truth, Shug act more manly than most men. I mean she upright, honest. Speak her mind and the devil take the hindmost, he say. You know Shug will fight, he say. Just like Sofia. She bound to live her life and be herself no matter what.
Mr. _____ think all this is stuff men do. But Harpo not like this, I tell him. You not like this. What Shug got is womanly it seem like to me. Specially since she and Sofia the ones got it.
Sofia and Shug not like men, he say, but they not like women either.
You mean they not like you or me.
They hold they own, he say. And it’s different
What I love best bout Shug is what she been through, I say. When you look in Shug’s eyes you know she been where she been, seen what she seen, did what she did. And now she know.
That’s the truth, say Mr. ____.
And if you don’t git out the way, she’ll tell you about it.
Amen, he say. Then he say something that really surprise me cause it so thoughtful and common sense. When it come to what folks do together with they bodies, he say, anybody’s guess is as good as mine. But when you talk bout love I don’t have to guess. I have love and I have been love. And I thank
God he let me gain understanding enough to know love can’t be halted just cause some peoples moan and groan. It don’t surprise me you love Shug Avery, he say. I have love Shug Avery all my life.
What load of bricks fell on you? I ast.
No bricks, he say. Just experience. You know, everybody bound to git some of that sooner or later. All they have to do is stay alive. And I start to git mine real heavy long about the time I told Shug it was true that I beat you cause you was you and not her.
I told her, I say.
I know it, he say, and I don’t blame you. If a mule could tell folks how it’s treated, it would. But you know some womens would have just love to hear they man say he beat his wife cause she wasn’t them. Shug one time was like that bout Annie Julia. Both of us messed over my first wife a scanless. And she never told nobody. Plus, she didn’t have nobody to tell. After they married her off to me her folks behave like they’d throwed her down a well. Or off the face of the earth. I didn’t want her. I wanted Shug. But my daddy was the boss. He give me the wife he wanted me to have.