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Defining Your Own Success

In her book Get It Ripe,author and nutritionist jae steele talks about making informed choices and choosing the best option in the moment. We like what she writes here: “One of the worst things you can do is beat yourself up for eating ‘bad’ food; a close second is policing others for their food choices, and sometimes the two go hand in hand.” (steele posts great recipes—many of which are kid-friendly and easy to make—on her blog, domesticaffair.blogspot.com.)

Family Talking Points

When talking to your child about being vegan, especially when he has questions about why he can’t eat a certain food his friends eat, be prepared to listen. His struggles as a vegan, especially at school, may be very different from your daily experiences as an adult vegan. Some of the social concerns you won’t be able to “fix,” but you can show him that you’re listening, that you care, and that the world isn’t always a fair place, especially for people who are going against the status quo to try to make a change for the better.

Depending on your child’s age, he also might ask you a lot of tough questions specifically about veganism and animal products that don’t have black-and-white answers. How you answer those questions will differ depending on his maturity level and your comfort with exposing your child to some of the harsher realities of the world of raising animals for food.

That’s So Vegan

Find a fun, kid-friendly, and comprehensive education guide about farm animals at www.farmsanctuary.org/education. The three free guides come in levels for elementary school-age, tween, and teen kids. The nonprofit Farm Sanctuary’s centers are based in Watkins Glen, New York, and northern California. Consider visiting for a memorable vegan family field trip.

Here are some of the more common kid questions, and some possible responses you can give:

Why do people ask me if I want a hamburger when they know I don’t eat meat? I think those people may be uncomfortable with considering the change for themselves, so they make a joke out of it. Or maybe they want to see if you’re really committed to not eating meat, so they’re testing you. How does it make you feel when they say that to you? How do you respond? Do you like the way you respond?

Why can’t we let all the farm animals go (or all the lobsters in the tank at the grocery store, or all the animals in testing facilities, etc.)? I wish we could help those animals be free to live in their natural habitat. But animals on farms and in stores are considered their owner’s property. For now, that’s the law. What are some other ways we could help animals in those situations?

My teacher says killing a farm animal isn’t the same as killing a dog. She says it’s slaughtering—not killing—when a farm animal dies for meat. Is that true? Unfortunately, a lot of people do think it’s different and it’s okay to kill farm animals. Our family disagrees with that. We know farm animals feel emotions like fear, they enjoy lying in the sun, and they connect with their babies, just like dogs. We don’t want to intentionally cause any animal harm if we can help it.

Aunt Sally says I won’t be strong if I don’t eat meat. Is that true? No, that’s not true. I want you to grow strong and healthy, and not eating meat can help you do that. Healthy foods like [list some of his favorites] will help you grow strong.

Many of these questions are obviously prompted by challenges made to your child’s diet by other people such as friends, teachers, and relatives. It’s important to let your child know you think he’s both capable of and has every right to speak his mind clearly and politely to adults who question his vegan diet.

In the classic parenting book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish encourage parents to listen to their kids’ feelings about problems but not to be quick to offer advice unless asked. Don’t try to shield your child from the realities of being vegan in a