The Complete Idiot's Guide to Vegan Eating for Kids - M.s.j., Dana Villamagna [15]
That’s So Vegan
The ace in the hole for dealing with a picky eater? Vitamins. We talk more in Part 2 about choosing the best vegan vitamins for kids at different stages and needs, but until then, remember: if your child is a picky eater, a vitamin supplement beyond B is necessary for optimal health and growth—at least until her food choices expand.
Mom’s Vegan, Dad’s Not
You should never discuss religion and politics at a dinner party, right? You may be able to avoid those hot-button topics at a party, but it’s almost impossible not to discuss them with your mate, and even more difficult not to discuss food. Religion, politics, and food are three of the most combustible topics in life. So it stands to reason they’re in partnerships, too. If mixed-religion or two-party couples can navigate Christmas and Hanukkah, or Republicans and Democrats, then vegan-nonvegan parents can surely figure out how to raise their child amid dietary and philosophical differences, too.
When one parent is vegan and the other isn’t, it’s imperative that both adults discuss what this means for your child’s diet. Otherwise, feelings will get hurt, people will get angry, and the child will be stuck in the middle. In this situation, the family mission statement mentioned in Chapter 2 becomes even more important. Your partner’s current position on food ethics and preferences should be heard (understanding that they may evolve), yours voiced as well, compromises made, and boundaries set. This will be easier if the nonvegan parent is vegetarian and more difficult if one is carnivorous.
As in all parenting situations, what’s best for the child must take precedence. If you’re in a divorce situation, a discussion with a family therapist regarding how to come to an agreement about your child’s diet may be warranted.
Vegan Voices
Each night, I fix a vegan meal and my husband fixes whatever meat he wants to eat, and our children make food choices. So far it seems to be working out for us!
—Sheri, Wisconsin
If you’re the vegan parent in this equation, be prepared to bend a little. If the other parent has emotional attachments to, say, a tradition of buying your child a chocolate ice-cream cone at the neighborhood pool’s concession stand after a swim, then a soy ice-cream cone at home isn’t likely going to cut it. Yes, we’ve always been told it’s unhealthy to equate food with love, but in reality it often happens. In instances like that, the BPO (best possible option—see Chapter 2) may be to give a little on one or two sentimental choices, draw the line at the most egregious requests (cancer-causing hot dogs at baseball games, for example), and ask the pool concession manager to start selling soy or rice milk-based frozen treats.
Parent Trap
In Talking to Tweens: Getting It Right Before It Gets Rocky with Your 8- to 12-Year-Old, parenting expert Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer lists “arguments between parents—and feeling marooned in between them” as one of the situations kids are most likely to find stressful. Sometimes agreeing to disagree about veganism with a nonvegan partner and coming to a compromise for your child’s diet is best for everyone.
And who knows? If you, the vegan parent, continue to set a stellar example of how happy, healthy, and calm veganism makes you, your partner may just come around sooner than you think. (And it never hurts to keep a fabulous vegan dessert in the house at all times as a positive temptation to nudge them over to the vegan side of life!)
The Cool Friend Isn’t Vegan
Many vegan children are so proud they can care for animals by being vegan it simply doesn’t matter what their friends are eating. But every now and again, especially when your child enters the tween years, you may come across “the cool friend.” You know,