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Again, the theme of food = love comes into play here, and if the only way Grandma knows to show her food love to her grandkids is through meatballs, meatloaf, scrambled eggs, and cheesecake, you may run into some major static.

As soon as this problem arises, take the opportunity to sit down with the concerned grandparent or other close relative and set some boundaries. Back a decade or two, when veganism was still considered outlandish by most people, there were reports of relatives calling child protection authorities on parents for not feeding their kids meat. These days, cooler heads almost always prevail, but you still don’t want to unnecessarily fan the flames of anyone’s antivegan mind-set.

Parent Trap

In our survey of more than 60 vegan parents, a whopping 77 percent have received negative comments from extended family about their child’s diet.

If you have a relative or friend who works in the meat, dairy, food service, or other industry that’s involved in manufacturing, selling, or serving animal products, it’s wise to have an extra dose of sensitivity. When discussions about you and your child’s veganism arise, these folks may feel your choice is a personal attack on their livelihood. Agree to disagree. Straining a relationship with a relative or close friend over personal choices rarely helps anyone come to a better understanding, and it may be detrimental, especially if your child is emotionally attached to this person.

Consider listening to the relative’s feelings first before responding. Perhaps find a point of compromise; for instance, allowing your child to eat Aunt Sally’s famous pumpkin pie (which contains eggs) at Thanksgiving if she wants to. After listening and perhaps making a compromise, say something like:

I know you’re concerned about the fact that we don’t feed meat or other animal products to our daughter. You know we love our child deeply, and we wouldn’t take what she eats or her health lightly. We know you love her, too, and she loves you. You’re going to have to trust that we’re doing what’s best for her and for our family. If you want more information about why vegan diets are healthy for kids, we can provide that for you. But we don’t want any further discussion, negative comments, or sideways remarks about this, and we need you to respect that.

Hopefully, that will take care of it. If not, more action on your part may be necessary. You may need to arrive at family functions after the meal portion has ended, or bring all your own food in a cooler with you when you visit for holiday meals. Bring enough of one particularly omnivore-pleasing vegan dish for everyone. Who knows? If your cooking is good enough, Grandma may be convinced to try eating animal-free more often to lower her cholesterol—or at least give you a compliment on your vegan chocolate cheesecake!

Vegan Voices

We don’t want our kids to grow up hateful of meat-eaters or with misconceptions or lies about foods, like meat is poisonous. We want to be very honest with them and encourage them to discover the truth for themselves and to make their own decisions. But of course we also want them to be healthy and to have compassion for animals and care for the earth.

—Chandelle, California

In a New Neighborhood

So you moved into the new neighborhood and the first invitation on your door is to the upcoming annual block party … featuring the traditional pig roast. Yes, indeed, a complete pig will be roasting on your very own street next week, and your new friends and neighbors are thrilled to have the new family attend. Just bring a dish to pass and make a small contribution to the pig purchase of $5 a person. What to do?

When your family is the new kid on the block, you may want to tread lightly, but you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Depending on what part of the country you’ve moved into, or even what neighborhood within a city, veganism may be lauded or laughed at. Either way,