The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe - Edgar Allan Poe [1110]
“Ah, by-the-by, how’s the Major?”
“Charmingly: only a little bit in a scrape just now. Sir Arthur — Lord Wellington, I mean — had him up for his fellows being caught pillaging, and gave him a devil of a rowing a few days ago.
“ ‘Very disorderly corps yours, Major O’shaugnessy,’ said the general; `more men up for punishment than any regiment in the service.’
“Shaugh muttered something, but his voice was lost in a loud cock-a-doo-doo-doo, that some bold chanticleer set up at the moment.
“ ‘If the officers do their duty Major O’shaugnessy, these acts of insubordination do not occur.’
“Cock-a-doo-doo-doo, was the reply. Some of the staff found it hard not to laugh; but the general went on —
“ ‘If, therefore, the practice does not cease, I’ll draft the men into West India regiments.’
“ ‘Cock-a-doo-doo-doo!’
“ ‘And if any articles pillaged from the inhabitants are detected in the quarters, or about the persons of the troops —’
“ ‘Cock-a-doo-doo-doo!’ screamed louder here than ever.
“ ‘Damn that cock — where is it?’
“There was a general look around on all sides, which seemed in vain; when a tremendous repetition of the cry resounded from O’shaughnessy’s coat-pocket: thus detecting the valiant Major himself in the very practice of his corps. There was no standing this: every one burst out into a peal of laughter; and Lord Wellington himself could not resist, but turned away, muttering to himself as he went — ‘Damned robbers every man of them,’ while a final war-note from the Major’s pocket closed the interview.”
Now this is an anecdote at which every one will laugh; but its effect might have been vastly heightened by putting a few words of grave morality and reprobation of the conduct of his troops, into the mouth of O’shaughnessy, upon whose character they would have told well. The cock, in interrupting the thread of his discourse, would thus have afforded an excellent context. We have scarcely a reader, moreover, who will fail to perceive the want of tact shown in dwelling upon the mirth which the anecdote occasioned. The error here is precisely like that of a man’s laughing at his own spoken jokes. Our author is uniformly guilty of this mistake. He has an absurd fashion, also, of informing the reader, at the conclusion of each of his anecdotes, that, however good the anecdote might be, he (the reader) cannot enjoy it to the full extent in default of the manner in which it was orally narrated. He has no business to say anything of this kind. It is his duty to convey the manner not less than the matter of his narratives.
But we may say of these latter that, in general, they have the air of being remembered rather than invented. No man who has seen much of the rough life of the camp will fail to recognize among them many very old acquaintances. Some of them are as ancient as the hills, and have been, time out of mind, the common property of the bivouac. They have been narrated orally all the world over. The chief merit of the writer is, that he has been the first to collect and to print them. It is observable, in fact, that the second volume of the work is very far inferior to the first. The author seems to have exhausted his whole hoarded store in the beginning. His conclusion is barren indeed, and but for the historical details (for which he has no claim to merit) would be especially prosy and dull. Now the true invention never exhausts itself. It is mere cant and ignorance to talk of the possibility of the really imaginative man’s “writing himself out.” His soul but derives nourishment from the streams that flow therefrom. As well prate about the aridity of the eternal ocean [[Greek text:]] xxx xxx xxx [[:Greek text]]. So long as the universe of thought shall furnish matter for novel combinations, so long will the spirit of true genius be original, be exhaustless