The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe - Edgar Allan Poe [772]
And of the critic himself what shall we say? — for as yet we have spoken only the proem to the true epopea. What can we better say of him than, with Bulwer, that "he must have courage to blame boldly, magnanimity to eschew envy, genius to appreciate, learning to compare, an eye for beauty, an ear for music, and a heart for feeling." Let us add, a talent for analysis and a solemn indifference to abuse.
A FEW WORDS ON ETIQUETTE
IT is a matter of some slight surprise to me that in these days, full of improvement as they have been and certainly are, the science of etiquette should be so little cultivated by the mass of the people. I have, therefore, in an idle moment, ventured to lay down the following suggestions for a proper bearing in society, which may be found useful to the uninitiated.
The quality which a young man should most affect in intercourse with society is a decent modesty, but he must avoid at the same time all bashfulness or timidity. His flights must not go too far, but so are as they go let them be marked by perfect assurance and coolness. Familiarity of manner is the greatest vice of society, and when our acquaintance finds himself entitled to say, "Allow me, my dear fellow," or any such phrase, cut him directly.
Never use the term genteel — it is only to be found in the mouths of those who have it nowhere else. Never enter your own house without bowing to any one you may meet there, and on no account before strangers, grumble or find fault. A visit must always be returned; — an insult should never be overlooked.
The style of your conversation should always be in keeping with the character of the visit. You must not talk about literature on a vist [[visit]] of condolence, nor descant on political economy in a visit of ceremony. If you go to a house where there are children, you should take especial care to conciliate their good will by a little manly tête-à-tête. Never ask a lady any question about anything whatever, unless it be the all-important one of "popping the question," which is the star of the mind and heart from seventeen to thirty-two. Punning is now decidedly out of date. It is a silly and displeasing thing when it becomes a habit. Some one has very appropriately styled it the wit of fools. Above all, never take your hat into a drawing-room.
Your first duty at the table is to attend to the wants of the lady who sits next to you, the second to attend to your own. In performing the first, you should take care that the lady has all that she wishes, yet without appearing to direct your attention too much to her plate, for nothing is more ill-bred than to watch a person eating. If the lady be something of a gourmande, and in over-zealous pursuit of the aroma of the wind of a pigeon should raise an unmanageable portion to her mouth, you should cease all conversation with her and look steadfastly into the opposite part of the room.
If you have taken wine with every one at the table, you must not attempt to libate aught but water again till the cloth is removed. The decanter is then sent round from the head of the table, when each person may fill his own glass. At dinner never ask for ale or porter; it is a coarse mixture, and injures the taste of wine. If you should happen to be blessed with those lovely nuisances, children, and should be entertaining company, never allow them to be brought in after dinner unless they are particularly asked for. Never talk politics at a dinner-table nor in a drawing-room.
If you remove your hat, you need not at the same time bend the dorsal vertebræ of your body, unless you wish to be very reverential, as in saluting a person