• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

bondage of certain ribbons and gloves.

MOPSA.

I was promis'd them against the feast; but they come not too late now.

DORCAS.

He hath promis'd you more than that, or there be liars.

MOPSA.

He hath paid you all he promis'd you. May be he has paid you

more, which will shame you to give him again.

CLOWN.

Is there no manners left among maids? Will they wear their

plackets where they should bear their faces? Is there not

milking-time, when you are going to bed, or kiln-hole, to whistle

off these secrets, but you must be tittle-tattling before all our

guests? 'Tis well they are whisp'ring. Clammer your tongues,

and not a word more.

MOPSA.

I have done. Come, you promis'd me a tawdry-lace, and a pair of sweet gloves.

CLOWN.

Have I not told thee how I was cozen'd by the way, and lost all my money?

AUTOLYCUS.

And indeed, sir, there are cozeners abroad;

therefore it

behoves men to be wary.

CLOWN.

Fear not thou, man; thou shalt lose nothing here.

AUTOLYCUS.

I hope so, sir; for I have about me many parcels of charge.

CLOWN.

What hast here? Ballads?

MOPSA.

Pray now, buy some. I love a ballad in print a-life, for

then we are sure they are true.

AUTOLYCUS.

Here's one to a very doleful tune: how a usurer's wife

was brought to bed of twenty money-bags at a burden, and how she

long'd to eat adders' heads and toads carbonado'd.

MOPSA.

Is it true, think you?

AUTOLYCUS.

Very true, and but a month old.

DORCAS.

Bless me from marrying a usurer!

AUTOLYCUS.

Here's the midwife's name to't, one Mistress Taleporter,

and five or six honest wives that were present. Why should I

carry lies abroad?

MOPSA.

Pray you now, buy it.

CLOWN.

Come on, lay it by; and let's first see moe ballads;

we'll

buy the other things anon.

AUTOLYCUS.

Here's another ballad, of a fish that appeared upon the

coast on Wednesday the fourscore of April, forty thousand fathom

above water, and sung this ballad against the hard hearts of

maids. It was thought she was a woman, and was turn'd into a cold

fish for she would not exchange flesh with one that lov'd her.

The ballad is very pitiful, and as true.

DORCAS.

Is it true too, think you?

AUTOLYCUS.

Five justices' hands at it; and witnesses more than my pack will hold.

CLOWN.

Lay it by too. Another.

AUTOLYCUS.

This is a merry ballad, but a very pretty one.

MOPSA.

Let's have some merry ones.

AUTOLYCUS.

Why, this is a passing merry one, and goes to the tune

of 'Two maids wooing a man.' There's scarce a maid westward but

she sings it; 'tis in request, I can tell you.

MOPSA.

can both sing it. If thou'lt bear a part, thou shalt hear;

'tis in three parts.

DORCAS.

We had the tune on't a month ago.

AUTOLYCUS.

I can bear my part; you must know 'tis my occupation.

Have at it with you.

SONG

AUTOLYCUS.

Get you hence, for I must go

Where it fits not you to know.

DORCAS.

Whither?

MOPSA.

O, whither?

DORCAS.

Whither?

MOPSA.

It becomes thy oath full well

Thou to me thy secrets tell.

DORCAS.

Me too! Let me go thither

MOPSA.

Or thou goest to th' grange or mill.

DORCAS.

If to either, thou dost ill.

AUTOLYCUS.

Neither.

DORCAS.

What, neither?

AUTOLYCUS.

Neither.

DORCAS.

Thou hast sworn my love to be.

MOPSA.

Thou hast sworn it more to me.

Then whither goest? Say, whither?

CLOWN.

We'll have this song out anon by ourselves; my father and

the gentlemen are in sad talk, and we'll not trouble them.

Come,

bring away thy pack after me. Wenches, I'll buy for you both.

Pedlar, let's have the first choice. Follow me, girls.

Exit with DORCAS and MOPSA

AUTOLYCUS.

And you shall pay well for 'em.

Exit AUTOLYCUS, Singing

Will you buy any tape,

Or lace for your cape,

My dainty duck, my dear-a?

Any silk, any thread,

Any toys for your head,

Of the new'st and fin'st, fin'st wear-a?

Come to the pedlar;

Money's a meddler

That doth utter all men's ware-a.

Re-enter SERVANT

SERVANT.

Master, there is three carters, three shepherds, three

neat-herds, three swineherds,