The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [1721]
SIR NIC.
An Angel does it.
CLOWN.
Nay, there's two, for your better eye sight, sir.
SIR NIC.
Why, well said! Give me thy hand, wench, Ile teach thee a trick
for all this, shall get a father for thy childe presently, and this
it is, mark now: You meet a man, as you meet me now, thou claimest
Marriage of me, and layest the childe to my charge; I deny it: push,
that's nothing , hold thy Claim fast, thy words carries it, and no Law
can withstand it.
CLOWN.
Ist possible?
SIR NIC.
Past all opposition; her own word carries it: let her challenge any man,
the childe shall call him Father; there's atrick for your money now.
CLOWN.
Troth, sir, we thank you, we'l make use of your trick, and go no
further to seek the childe a Father, for we challenge you, Sir:
sister, lay it to him, he shall marry thee, I shall have a worshipful
old man to my brother.
SIR NIC.
Ha, ha, I like thy pleasantness.
JOAN.
Nay, indeed, Sir, I do challenge you.
CLOWN.
You think we jest, sir?
SIR NIC.
I, by my troth, do i. I like thy wit, yfaith: thou shalt live at
Court with me; didst never hear of Nicodemus Nothing? I am the man.
CLOWN.
Nothing? 'slid, we are out agen: thou wast never got with childe
with nothing, sure.
JOAN.
I know not what to say.
SIR NIC.
Never grieve, wench, show me the man, and process shall fly out.
CLOWN.
'Tis enough for us to finde the children, we look that you should
finde the Father, and therefore either do us justice, or we'l stand
to our first challenge.
SIR NIC.
Would you have justice without an Adversary? unless you can show me
the man, I can do you no good in it.
CLOWN.
Why, then I hope you'l do us no harm, sir; you'l restore my money.
SIR NIC.
What, my Fee? marry, Law forbid it!
Finde out the party, and you shall have justice,
Your fault clos'd up, and all shall be amended,
The Childe, his Father, and the Law (def-)ended.
(Exit.
CLOWN.
Well, he has deserv'd his Fee, indeed, for he has brought our suit
to a quick end, I promise you, and yet the Childe has never a Father;
nor we have no more mony to seek after him. A shame of all lecherous
placcats! now you look like a Cat had newly kitten'd; what will you
do now, tro? Follow me no further, lest I beat your brains out.
JOAN.
Impose upon me any punishment,
Rather than leave me now.
CLOWN.
Well, I think I am bewitcht with thee; I cannot finde in my heart
to forsake her. There was never sister would have abus'd a poor
brother as thou hast done; I am even pin'd away with fretting,
there's nothing but flesh and bones about me. Well, and I had my
money agen, it were some comfort.
Hark sister, [Thunder], does it not thunder?
JOAN.
Oh yes, most fearfully: What shall we do, brother?
CLOWN.
Marry, e'ene get some shelter, e're the storm catch us: away,
let's away, I prithee.
Enter the DEVIL in mans habit, richly attir'd, his feet and his head horrid.
JOAN.
Ha, 'tis he! Stay, brother, dear brother, stay.
CLOWN.
What's the matter now?
JOAN.
My love, my friend is come; yonder he goes.
CLOWN.
Where, where? show me where; I'le stop him, if the devil be not in him.
JOAN.
Look there, look yonder!
Oh, dear friend, pity my distress,
For heaven and goodness, do but speak to me.
DEVIL.
She calls me, and yet drives me headlong from her.
Poor mortal, thou and I are much uneven,
Thou must not speak of goodness nor of heaven,
If I confer with thee; but be of comfort:
Whilst men do breath, and Brittains name be known,
The fatal fruit thou bear'st within thy womb
Shall here be famous till the day of doom.
CLOWN.
'Slid, who's that that talks so? I can see no body.
JOAN.
Then art thou blind or mad. See where he goes,
And beckons me to come; oh, lead me forth,
I'll follow thee in spight of fear or death. (Exit.
CLOWN.
Oh brave! she'l run to the devil for a husband; she's stark mad,
sure, and talks to a shaddow, for I could see no substance: well,
I'le after her; the childe was got by