The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [1822]
NICHOLAS.
That were rare indeed, la: pray, let me know how.
PYE.
Nay, tis very necessary thou shouldst know, because thou must be employed as an Actor.
NICHOLAS.
An Actor? O no, that's a Player; and our Parson rails again Players mightily, I can tell you, because they brought him drunk up'oth Stage once,--as he will be horribly drunk.
CORPORAL.
Mass, I cannot blame him then, poor Church-spout.
PYE.
Why, as an Intermedler, then?
NICHOLAS.
Aye, that, that.
PYE.
Give me Audience, then: when the old Knight thy Master has raged his fill for the loss of the chain, tell him thou hast a Kinsman in prison, of such exquisite Art, that the devil himself is French Lackey to him, and runs bare-headed by his horse-belly (when he has one) whom he will cause with most Irish Dexterity to fetch his chain, tho twere hid under a mine of sea-coal, and ne'er make Spade or Pickaxe his instruments: tell him but this, with farder instructions thou shalt receive from me, and thou shoust thy self a Kinsman indeed.
CORPORAL.
A dainty Bully.
SKIRMISH.
An honest Book-keeper.
CAPTAIN.
And my three times thrice honey Cousin.
NICHOLAS.
Nay, grace of God, I'll rob him on't suddenly, and hang it in the Rosemary bank; but I bear that mind, Cousin, I would not steal any thing, me thinks, for mine own Father.
SKIRMISH.
He bears a good mind in that, Captain!
PYE.
Why, well said; he begins to be an honest felow, faith.
CORPORAL.
In troth, he does.
NICHOLAS.
You see, Cousin, I am willing to do you any kindness, always saving my self harmless.
[Exit Nicholas.]
CAPTAIN.
Why, I thank thee; fare thee well, I shall requite it.
CORPORAL.
Twill be good for thee, Captain, that thou has such an egregious Ass to thy Cousin.
CAPTAIN.
Aye, is he not a fine fool, Corporal? But, George, thou talkst of Art and Conjuring; How shall that be?
PYE.
Puh, be't not in your care: Leave that to me and my directions. Well, Captain, doubt not thy delivery now, E'en with the vantage, man, to gain by prison, As my thoughts prompt me: hold on, brain and plot! I aim at many cunning far events, All which I doubt not but to hit at length. I'll to the Widdow with a quaint assault. Captain, be merry.
CAPTAIN.
Who, I? Kerrie, merry, Buff-Jerkin.
PYE.
Oh, I am happy in more slights, and one will knit strong in another.--Corporal Oath.
CORPORAL.
Hoh, Bully?
PYE.
And thou, old Peter Skirmish; I have a necessary task for you Both.
SKIRMISH.
Lay't upon, George Pye-board.
CORPORAL.
What ere it be, we'll manage it.
PYE.
I would have you two maintain a quarrel before the Lady Widdow's door, and draw your swords i'th edge of the Evening; clash a little, clash, clash.
CORPORAL.
Fuh! Let us alone to make our Blades ring noon, Tho it be after Supper.
PYE.
I know you can. And out of that false fire, I doubt not but to raise strange belief--And, Captain, to countenance my device the better, and grace my words to the Widdow, I have a good plain Satin suit, that I had of a young Reveller t'other night: for words pass not regarded now a days, unless they come from a good suit of clothes, which the Fates and my wits have bestowed upon me. Well, Captain Idle, if I did not highly love thee, I would ne'er be seen within twelve score of a prison, for I protest at this instant, I walk in great danger of small debts; I owe money to several Hostesses, and you know such Jills will quickly be upon a man's Jack.
CAPTAIN.
True, George.
PYE.
Fare thee well, Captain. Come, Corporal and Ancient! thou Shalt hear more news next