The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [2017]
Waltham all night, and not under the Canopy of your host
Blague's house?
SIR ARTHUR.
Mine host, mine host, we lay all night at the George in
Waltham; but whether the George be your fee-simple or no,
tis a doubtful question: look upon your sign.
HOST.
Body of Saint George, this is mine overthwart neighbour hath done this to seduce my blind customers. I'll tickle his Catastrophe for this; if I do not indite him at next assisses for Burglary, let me die of the yellows; for I see tis no boot in these days to serve the good Duke of Norfolk. The villanous world is turned manger; one Jade deceives another, and your Ostler plays his part commonly for the fourth share. Have we Comedies in hand, you whoreson, villanous male London Letcher?
SIR ARTHUR.
Mine host, we have had the moylingst night of it that ever we had in our lives.
HOST.
Ist certain?
SIR RAPH.
We have been in the Forest all night almost.
HOST.
S'foot, how did I miss you? hart, I was a stealing a Buck there.
SIR ARTHUR.
A plague on you; we were stayed for you.
HOST.
Were you, my noble Romans? Why, you shall share; the venison is a footing. Sine Cerere and Baccho friget Venus; That is, there's a good breakfast provided for a marriage that's in my house this morning.
SIR ARTHUR.
A marriage, mine host?
HOST.
A conjunction copulative; a gallant match between your daughter and M. Raymond Mountchensey, young Juventus.
SIR ARTHUR.
How?
HOST.
Tis firm, tis done. We'll shew you a president i'th civil law fort.
SIR RAPH.
How? married?
HOST.
Leave tricks and admiration. There's a cleanly pair of sheets
in the bed in Orchard chamber, and they shall lie there. What?
I'll do it; I'll serve the good Duke of Norfolk.
SIR ARTHUR.
Thou shalt repent this, Blague.
SIR RAPH.
If any law in England will make thee smart for this, expect it with all severity.
HOST.
I renounce your defiance; if you parle so roughly, I'll barracado my gates against you. stand fair, bully; Priest, come off from the rereward! What can you say now? Twas done in my house; I have shelter i'th Court for't. D'yee see yon bay window? I serve the good duke of Norfolk, and tis his lodging. Storm, I care not, serving the good Duke of Norfolk: thou art an actor in this, and thou shalt carry fire in thy face eternally.
[Enter Smug, Mountchensey, Harry Clare, and Milliscent.]
SMUG.
Fire, s'blood, there's no fire in England like your Trinidado sack. Is any man here humorous? We stole the venison, and we'll justify it: say you now!
HOST.
In good sooth, Smug, there's more sack on the fire, Smug.
SMUG.
I do not take any exceptions against your sack; but it you'll lend me a pick staff, I'll cudgle them all hence, by this hand.
HOST.
I say thou shalt in to the Celler.
SMUG.
S'foot, mine Host, shalls not grapple? Pray, pray you; I could fight now for all the world like a Cockatrices ege; shals not serve the Duke of Norfolk?
[Exit.]
HOST.
In, skipper, in!
SIR ARTHUR.
Sirra, hath young Mountchensey married your sister?
HARRY CLARE.
Tis Certain, Sir; here's the priest that coupled them, the parties joined, and the honest witness that cried Amen.
MOUNTCHENSEY.
Sir Arthur Clare, my new created Father, I beseech you, hear me.
SIR ARTHUR.
Sir, Sir, you are a foolish boy; you ahve done that you cannot answer; I dare be bound to seize her from you; for she's a profest Nun.
MILLISCENT.
With pardon, sir, that name is quite undone;
This true-love knot cancels both maid and Nun.
When first you told me I should act that part,
How cold and bloody it crept o'er my heart!
To Chesson with a smiling brow I went;
But yet, dear sir, it was to this intent,
That my sweet Raymond might find better means
To steal me thence. In brief, disguised he came,
Like Novice to old father Hildersham;
His tutor here did act that cunning part,
And in our love hath joined much wit to art.
CLARE.
Is't even so?
MILLISCENT.
With pardon therefore we intreat your smiles;
Love thwarted turns itself to