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Lords, let us in, for I intend to be

espoused tonight with all solemnity.

After our marriage we do mean to go

to meet in open field our open foe. [Exeunt omnes.]

Scene II.2

[Enter Edrick, a poor man, his wife, and Stitch.]

EDRICK: Nay, Stitch, and you once see my son you'll swear he is

a bouncer, all in silks and gold, vengeable rich.

STITCH: How say you that?

WIFE: I can tell you, you may bless the day that ever you

happed into his service, he is a man every hairs-breadth,

a most vild brave man i' faith.

STITCH: Then we shall be well met, for I love bravery and

cleanliness out of all cry, and indeed of all things I

cannot brook an ill-favored face, hang him that wants

a good face. ...

EDRICK: You are of my mind, we may say 'a pox of all good

faces' and never hurt our own.

STITCH: We may indeed, God be praised. But what house is this?

How far off are we from Southampton?

WIFE: Why, we are in the town. Th' king Canutus lies here

now, and my son is here, and all our neighbors will be

here today at the bridal for alms. [Enter Edricus.]

EDRICUS: Whoso desires to mount a lofty pitch

must bear himself against the stubborn wind

and shun base common popularity. ...

STITCH: Who is this?

WIFE: Oh 'tis my son. Make ye handsome, tie your garters for

shame, wipe your shoes, mend your shirt-band.

EDRICK: Oh let me go to him first. God save ye, son.

EDRICUS: A pox upon him, 'tis the knave my father.

Good fellow, hast thou any suit to us?

Deliver up thy supplication.

EDRICK: Oh sir, ye know me well enough:

I am goodman Edrick, your father.

EDRICUS: My father, grout-head? Sir knave, I say you lie, ...

you whoreson cuckold, you base vagabond,

you slave, you mongrel peasant, dolt and fool,

can'st thou not know a duke from common men?

WIFE: By my troth, I learned him all these names to call his father

when he was a child, and see if he can forget them yet.

Oh he is a wise man, for in faith my husband is none

of his father, for indeed a soldier begot him of me

as I went once to a fair. But son, know ye me?

EDRICUS: Thee, old hag, witch, quean, slut, drab, whore and thief:

how should I know thee, black Egyptian? ...

WIFE: This is his old tricks, husband. Come, come, son:

I am sure ye know me.

EDRICUS: Aye, if not too well.

Wherefore comes yon sheep-biter? You, sir knave,

you are my brother, are ye not I pray?

STITCH: No sir, and it like ye.

EDRICUS: It likes me very well. What is your name?

Wherefore came ye hither?

WIFE: His name is Stitch, my son, we came with him

to help him to your service. ...

EDRICUS: You answer for him, gossip -- wants he tongue?

STITCH: No sir, I have tongue enough if that be good.

[He shows his tongue.]

EDRICUS: What can ye do?

STITCH: Anything, dress a horse, scour a chamber pot, go to

plow, thrash, dick and indeed what not.

EDRICUS: Canst make clean shoes?

STITCH: Who, I? It is part of my occupation; you win my heart.

I am a cobbler for need, I can piece a shoe as well as the

best. Wipe a shoe? Look you here else -- give me your foot.

EDRICUS: Stay, not so hasty. ...

We that by sly devices mean to mount

and creep into opinion by deceit

must not of all things have a scholar know

our practices; we must suppress good wits

and keep them under; we must favor fools

and with promotions win their shallow pates.

A ready wit would quickly wind us out

and pry into our secret treacheries

and wade as deep in policy as we.

But such loose-brained windy-headed slaves; ...

such block-heads, dolts, fools, dunces, idiots,

such logger-headed rogues are best for us;

for we may work their wills to what we will

and win their hearts with gold to anything.

Come hither, Stitch. This villain and quean

that brought thee hither claim an interest

in my nobility, whenas God knows

my noble father died long since in wars,

being Duke of Mercia then as I am now.

Therefore -- but first to cut off long delays, ...

I entertain thee for my chamberlain;

and as thou