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court once; and I pray let me follow the fashion a

little, to show myself a courtier.

Tresilian

go spread those several blanks throughout the

Kingdom, and here is commission with the council's

hands with charge to every Shrieve and officer

to assist and aid you; and when they are sealed and

signed, see ye note well such men's ability as set

their hands to them. inquire what rents, what lands,

or what revenues they spend by the year, and let me

straight receive intelligence. besides, I would have you

use yourselves so cunningly to mark who grudges, or

but speaks amiss of good King Richard, myself, or any

of his new councillors. attach them all for privy

whisperers and send them up. I have a trick in law

shall make King Richard seize into his hands

the forfeiture of all their goods and lands.

Nimble, take thou these blanks, and see you take

especial note of them.

Nimble

I will take the ditty, sir, but you shall set a note

to it, for if any man shall speak but an ill word of

anything that is written here -

Tresilian

why, ass, there is nothing.

Nimble

and would ye have them speak ill of nothing? that is

strange. but I mean, my lord, if they should but give

this paper an ill word, as to say, "I will tear this

paper", or worse, "I will rend this paper", or fouler

words than that, as to say, "I will bumfiddle your

paper," if there be any such, I have a black book for

them, my lord, I warrant ye.

Tresilian

be it your greatest care to be severe.

Crosby and Fleming, pray be diligent.

Crosby

we shall, my lord.

Nimble

but how if we meet with some ignoramus fellows,

my lord, that cannot write their minds. what shall

they do?

Tresilian

if they but set to their marks, it is good.

Nimble

we shall meddle with no women in the blanks,

shall we?

Tresilian

rich widows, none else; for a widow is as much as

man and wife.

Nimble

then a widow is a hermaphrodite, both cut and

long tail. and if she cannot write, she shall set her

mark to it?

Tresilian

what else, sir?

Nimble

but if she have a daughter, she shall set her

mother's mark to it?

Tresilian

meddle with none but men and widows, sir,

I charge ye.

Nimble

well, sir, I shall see a widow's mark then: i

never saw none yet!

Tresilian

you have your lessons perfect, now begone:

be bold and swift in execution. Exit Tresilian Nimble

god be ' ye, my lord. we will domineer over the

vulgar like so many saint georges over the poor dragons.

come, sirs, we are like to have a flourishing commonwealth,

in faith!

Exeunt

Act III, Scene 2: Plashey House, Essex]

Enter Woodstock, Lancaster and York, at Plashey.

Woodstock

come, my good brothers, here at plashey house

I will bid you welcome with as true a heart

as Richard with a false, and mind corrupt

disgraced our names and thrust us from his court.

Lancaster

beshrew him that repines, my lord, for me.

I lived with care at court, I now am free.

York

come, come, let us find some other talk. I think

not on it. I never slept soundly when I was amongst

them, so let them go. this house of plashey, brother,

stands in a sweet and pleasant air, in faith.

it is near the thames and circled round with trees

that in the summer serve for pleasant fans

to cool ye, and in winter strongly break

the stormy winds that else would nip ye too.

Woodstock

and in faith, old York,

we have all need of some kind wintering.

we are beset (heaven shield) with many storms.

and yet these trees at length will prove to me

like Richard and his riotous minions.

their wanton heads so oft play with the winds

throwing their leaves so prodigally down,

they will leave me cold at last; and so will they

make England wretched; and, in the end, themselves.

Lancaster

if Westminster hall devour as it has begun

it were better it were ruined lime and stone.

Woodstock

afore my god, I late was certified

that at one feast was served ten thousand dishes.

York

he daily feasts, they say, ten thousand men

and every man must have his dish, at least.

Woodstock