The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [243]
SPEED.
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
VALENTINE.
How esteem'st thou me? I account of her beauty.
SPEED.
You never saw her since she was deform'd.
VALENTINE.
How long hath she been deform'd?
SPEED.
Ever since you lov'd her.
VALENTINE.
I have lov'd her ever since I saw her, and still
I see her beautiful.
SPEED.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
VALENTINE.
Why?
SPEED.
Because Love is blind. O that you had mine eyes; or your own
eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at
Sir Proteus for going ungarter'd!
VALENTINE.
What should I see then?
SPEED.
Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he,
being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being
in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
VALENTINE.
Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you
could not see to wipe my shoes.
SPEED.
True, sir; I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you
swing'd me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
VALENTINE.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
SPEED.
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
VALENTINE.
Last night she enjoin'd me to write some lines to one she loves.
SPEED.
And have you?
VALENTINE.
I have.
SPEED.
Are they not lamely writ?
VALENTINE.
No, boy, but as well as I can do them.
Enter SILVIA
Peace! here she comes.
SPEED.
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
Now will he interpret to her.
VALENTINE.
Madam and mistress, a thousand good morrows.
SPEED.
[Aside] O, give ye good ev'n!
Here's a million of manners.
SILVIA.
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
SPEED.
[Aside] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
VALENTINE.
As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in,
But for my duty to your ladyship.
SILVIA.
I thank you, gentle servant. 'Tis very clerkly done.
VALENTINE.
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
SILVIA.
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
VALENTINE.
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write,
Please you command, a thousand times as much;
And yet-
SILVIA.
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it- and yet I care not.
And yet take this again- and yet I thank you-
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
SPEED.
[Aside] And yet you will; and yet another' yet.'
VALENTINE.
What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
SILVIA.
Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them. [Gives hack the letter]
VALENTINE.
Madam, they are for you.
SILVIA.
Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request;
But I will none of them; they are for you:
I would have had them writ more movingly.
VALENTINE.
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
SILVIA.
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over;
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
VALENTINE.
If it please me, madam, what then?
SILVIA.
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour.
And so good morrow, servant. Exit SILVIA
SPEED.
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
VALENTINE.
How now, sir! What are you reasoning with yourself?
SPEED.
Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
VALENTINE.
To do what?
SPEED.
To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia?
VALENTINE.
To whom?
SPEED.
To yourself; why, she woos you by a figure.
VALENTINE.
What figure?
SPEED.
By a letter, I should say.
VALENTINE.
Why, she hath not writ to me.
SPEED.
What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself?
Why, do