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is in

manner and form following. Now, sir, for the manner- it is the

manner of a man to speak to a woman. For the form- in some form.

BEROWNE.

For the following, sir?

COSTARD.

As it shall follow in my correction; and God defend the right!

KING.

Will you hear this letter with attention?

BEROWNE.

As we would hear an oracle.

COSTARD.

Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.

KING.

[Reads] 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and sole

dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god and body's fost'ring

patron'-

COSTARD.

Not a word of Costard yet.

KING.

[Reads] 'So it is'-

COSTARD.

It may be so; but if he say it is so, he is, in telling true, but so.

KING.

Peace!

COSTARD.

Be to me, and every man that dares not fight!

KING.

No words!

COSTARD.

Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.

KING.

[Reads] 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured

melancholy, I

did commend the black oppressing humour to the most wholesome

physic of thy health-giving air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook

myself to walk. The time When? About the sixth hour; when beasts

most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment

which is called supper. So much for the time When. Now for the

ground Which? which, I mean, I upon; it is ycleped thy park.

Then

for the place Where? where, I mean, I did encounter that obscene

and most prepost'rous event that draweth from my snow-white pen

the ebon-coloured ink which here thou viewest, beholdest,

surveyest, or seest. But to the place Where? It standeth

north-north-east and by east from the west corner of thy

curious-knotted garden. There did I see that low-spirited swain,

that base minnow of thy mirth,'

COSTARD.

Me?

KING.

'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'

COSTARD.

Me?

KING.

'that shallow vassal,'

COSTARD.

Still me?

KING.

'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'

COSTARD.

O, me!

KING.

'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy established proclaimed

edict and continent canon; which, with, O, with- but with

this I

passion to say wherewith-'

COSTARD.

With a wench.

King. 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy

more sweet understanding, a woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed

duty pricks me on, have sent to thee, to receive the meed of

punishment, by thy sweet Grace's officer, Antony Dull, a man of

good repute, carriage, bearing, and estimation.'

DULL.

Me, an't shall please you; I am Antony Dull.

KING.

'For Jaquenetta- so is the weaker vessel called, which I

apprehended with the aforesaid swain- I keep her as a vessel of

thy law's fury; and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice,

bring her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted and

heart-burning heat of duty,

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'

BEROWNE.

This is not so well as I look'd for, but the best that

ever I heard.

KING.

Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say you to this?

COSTARD.

Sir, I confess the wench.

KING.

Did you hear the proclamation?

COSTARD.

I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.

KING.

It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment to be taken with a wench.

COSTARD.

I was taken with none, sir; I was taken with a damsel.

KING.

Well, it was proclaimed damsel.

COSTARD.

This was no damsel neither, sir; she was a virgin.

KING.

It is so varied too, for it was proclaimed virgin.

COSTARD.

If it were, I deny her virginity; I was taken with a maid.

KING.

This 'maid' not serve your turn, sir.

COSTARD.

This maid will serve my turn, sir.

KING.

Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week

with bran and water.

COSTARD.

I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

KING.

And Don Armado shall be your keeper.

My Lord Berowne, see him delivered o'er;

And go we, lords, to put in practice that

Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.

[Exeunt KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN.]

BEROWNE.

I'll lay my head to any good man's hat

These oaths and laws will prove