• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,

Were still at odds, being but three.

There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.

MOTH.

I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.

ARMADO.

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,

Were still at odds, being but three.

MOTH.

Until the goose came out of door,

And stay'd the odds by adding four.

Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with my l'envoy.

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,

Were still at odds, being but three.

ARMADO.

Until the goose came out of door,

Staying the odds by adding four.

MOTH.

A good l'envoy, ending in the goose; would you desire more?

COSTARD.

The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.

Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.

To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose;

Let me see: a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.

ARMADO.

Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?

MOTH.

By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.

Then call'd you for the l'envoy.

COSTARD.

True, and I for a plantain. Thus came your argument in;

Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;

And he ended the market.

ARMADO.

But tell me: how was there a costard broken in a shin?

MOTH.

I will tell you sensibly.

COSTARD.

Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth; I will speak that l'envoy.

I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,

Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.

ARMADO.

We will talk no more of this matter.

COSTARD.

Till there be more matter in the shin.

ARMADO.

Sirrah Costard. I will enfranchise thee.

COSTARD.

O, Marry me to one Frances! I smell some l'envoy, some goose, in this.

ARMADO.

By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,

enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured, restrained,

captivated, bound.

COSTARD.

True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.

ARMADO.

I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in

lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: bear this

significant [giving a letter] to the country maid Jaquenetta;

there is remuneration, for the best ward of mine honour is

rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow. Exit

MOTH. Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.

COSTARD.

My sweet ounce of man's flesh, my incony Jew!

[Exit MOTH]

Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that's the

Latin word for three farthings. Three farthings- remuneration.

'What's the price of this inkle?'- 'One penny.'- 'No, I'll give

you a remuneration.' Why, it carries it. Remuneration! Why,

it is

a fairer name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word.

Enter BEROWNE

BEROWNE.

My good knave Costard, exceedingly well met!

COSTARD.

Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for

a remuneration?

BEROWNE.

What is a remuneration?

COSTARD.

Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.

BEROWNE.

Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.

COSTARD.

I thank your worship. God be wi' you!

BEROWNE.

Stay, slave; I must employ thee.

As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,

Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.

COSTARD.

When would you have it done, sir?

BEROWNE.

This afternoon.

COSTARD.

Well, I will do it, sir; fare you well.

BEROWNE.

Thou knowest not what it is.

COSTARD.

I shall know, sir, when I have done it.

BEROWNE.

Why, villain, thou must know first.

COSTARD.

I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.

BEROWNE.

It must be done this afternoon.

Hark, slave, it is but this:

The Princess comes to hunt here in the park,

And in her train there is a gentle lady;

When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,

And Rosaline they call her. Ask for her,

And to her white hand see thou do commend

This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.

[Giving him a shilling]

COSTARD.

Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration; a

'leven-pence farthing better; most sweet gardon! I will do it,

sir, in print. Gardon- remuneration! Exit

BEROWNE. And I, forsooth, in love; I, that have been love's whip;