The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [291]
BEROWNE.
Art thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARD.
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey the
Great;
for mine own part, I know not the degree of the Worthy; but I
am to stand for him.
BEROWNE.
Go, bid them prepare.
COSTARD.
We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take some care.
Exit COSTARD
KING.
Berowne, they will shame us; let them not approach.
BEROWNE.
We are shame-proof, my lord, and 'tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King's and his company.
KING.
I say they shall not come.
PRINCESS OF FRANCE.
Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how;
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things labouring perish in their birth.
BEROWNE.
A right description of our sport, my lord.
Enter ARMADO
ARMADO.
Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet
breath as will utter a brace of words.
[Converses apart with the KING, and delivers a paper]
PRINCESS OF FRANCE.
Doth this man serve God?
BEROWNE.
Why ask you?
PRINCESS OF FRANCE.
'A speaks not like a man of God his making.
ARMADO.
That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for, I
protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too too vain,
too too vain; but we will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la
guerra. I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
Exit ARMADO
KING.
Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He presents
Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the Great; the parish curate,
Alexander; Arinado's page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus.
And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits and present the other five.
BEROWNE.
There is five in the first show.
KING.
You are deceived, 'tis not so.
BEROWNE.
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool, and the boy:
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
KING.
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
Enter COSTARD, armed for POMPEY
COSTARD.
I Pompey am-
BEROWNE.
You lie, you are not he.
COSTARD.
I Pompey am-
BOYET.
With libbard's head on knee.
BEROWNE.
Well said, old mocker; I must needs be friends with thee.
COSTARD.
I Pompey am, Pompey surnam'd the Big-
DUMAIN.
The Great.
COSTARD.
It is Great, sir.
Pompey surnam'd the Great,
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foe to sweat;
And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France.
If your ladyship would say 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.
PRINCESS OF FRANCE.
Great thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARD.
'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect.
I made a little fault in Great.
BEROWNE.
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
Enter SIR NATHANIEL, for ALEXANDER
NATHANIEL.
When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander;
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander-
BOYET.
Your nose says, no, you are not; for it stands to right.
BEROWNE.
Your nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight.
PRINCESS OF FRANCE.
The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander.
NATHANIEL.
When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's
commander-
BOYET.
Most true, 'tis right, you were so, Alisander.
BEROWNE.
Pompey the Great!
COSTARD.
Your servant, and Costard.
BEROWNE.
Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
COSTARD.
[To Sir Nathaniel] O, Sir, you have overthrown Alisander
the conqueror! You will be scrap'd out of the painted cloth for
this. Your lion, that holds his poleaxe sitting on a
close-stool,
will be given to Ajax. He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror
and afeard to speak! Run away for shame, Alisander.
[Sir Nathaniel retires] There, an't shall please you, a foolish
mild man; an honest