The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [519]
PISTOL.
Sir John, God save you!
FALSTAFF.
What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
PISTOL.
Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet knight,
thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
SILENCE.
By'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
PISTOL.
Puff!
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.
FALSTAFF.
I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
PISTOL.
A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
FALSTAFF.
O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE.
[Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
PISTOL.
Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
SHALLOW.
Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
PISTOL.
Why, then, lament therefore.
SHALLOW.
Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the
court, I take it there's but two ways- either to utter them or
conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority.
PISTOL.
Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.
SHALLOW.
Under King Harry.
PISTOL.
Harry the Fourth- or Fifth?
SHALLOW.
Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL.
A foutra for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
FALSTAFF.
What, is the old king dead?
PISTOL.
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
FALSTAFF.
Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert Shallow,
choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol,
I
will double-charge thee with dignities.
BARDOLPH.
O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL.
What, I do bring good news?
FALSTAFF.
Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord
Shallow, be what thou wilt- I am Fortune's steward. Get on thy
boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
[Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal
devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow!
I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are
they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!
PISTOL.
Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they.
Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt
SCENE IV. London. A street
Enter BEADLES, dragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
HOSTESS.
No, thou arrant knave; I would to God that I might die,
that I might have thee hang'd. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out of joint.
FIRST BEADLE.
The constables have delivered her over to me; and she
shall have whipping-cheer enough, I warrant her. There hath been
a man or two lately kill'd about her.
DOLL.
Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie. Come on; I'll tell thee what,
thou damn'd tripe-visag'd rascal, an the child I now go with do
miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou
paper-fac'd villain.
HOSTESS.
O the Lord, that Sir John were come! He would make this a
bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb miscarry!
FIRST BEADLE.
If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again;
you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me; for
the man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.
DOLL.
I'll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you
as soundly swing'd for this- you blue-bottle rogue, you filthy
famish'd correctioner, if you be not swing'd, I'll forswear
half-kirtles.
FIRST BEADLE.
Come, come, you she knight-errant, come.
HOSTESS.
O God, that right should thus overcome might!
Well, of sufferance comes ease.
DOLL.
Come, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
HOSTESS.
Ay, come,