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become thee well. Therefore in my presence still smile, dear my

sweet, I prithee.'

Jove, I thank thee. I will smile; I will do everything that thou

wilt have me. Exit

FABIAN. I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of

thousands to be paid from the Sophy.

SIR TOBY.

I could marry this wench for this device.

AGUECHEEK.

So could I too.

SIR TOBY.

And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.

Enter MARIA

AGUECHEEK.

Nor I neither.

FABIAN.

Here comes my noble gull-catcher.

SIR TOBY.

Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?

AGUECHEEK.

Or o' mine either?

SIR TOBY.

Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and become thy

bond-slave?

AGUECHEEK.

I' faith, or I either?

SIR TOBY.

Why, thou hast put him in such a dream that when the

image of it leaves him he must run mad.

MARIA.

Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?

SIR TOBY.

Like aqua-vita! with a midwife.

AIARIA.

If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his

first approach before my lady. He will come to her in yellow

stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhors, and cross-garter'd, a

fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now

be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a

melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a notable

contempt. If you will see it, follow me.

SIR TOBY.

To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!

AGUECHEEK.

I'll make one too. Exeunt

ACT III. SCENE I. OLIVIA'S garden

Enter VIOLA, and CLOWN with a tabor

VIOLA.

Save thee, friend, and thy music!

Dost thou live by thy tabor?

CLOWN.

No, sir, I live by the church.

VIOLA.

Art thou a churchman?

CLOWN.

No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live

at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.

VIOLA.

So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar

dwell near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor

stand by the church.

CLOWN.

You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a

chev'ril glove to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side may be turn'd outward!

VIOLA.

Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with words may

quickly make them wanton.

CLOWN.

I would, therefore, my sister had had name, sir.

VIOLA.

Why, man?

CLOWN.

Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that word

might make my sister wanton. But indeed words are very rascals

since bonds disgrac'd them.

VIOLA.

Thy reason, man?

CLOWN.

Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words

are grown so false I am loath to prove reason with them.

VIOLA.

I warrant thou art a merry fellow and car'st for nothing.

CLOWN.

Not so, sir; I do care for something; but in my conscience,

sir, I do not care for you. If that be to care for nothing,

sir,

I would it would make you invisible.

VIOLA.

Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?

CLOWN.

No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly; she will keep

no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands

as pilchers are to herrings- the husband's the bigger. I am

indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.

VIOLA.

I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.

CLOWN.

Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun- it

shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be

as oft with your master as with my mistress: think I saw your wisdom there.

VIOLA.

Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.

Hold, there's expenses for thee. [Giving a coin]

CLOWN.

Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send the a beard!

VIOLA.

By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one;

[Aside] though I would not have it grow on my chin.- Is thy lady within?

CLOWN.

Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?

VIOLA.

Yes, being kept together and put to use.

CLOWN.

I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a

Cressida to this Troilus.

VIOLA.

I understand you, sir; 'tis well begg'd.

[Giving another coin]

CLOWN.

The matter, I hope, is not great, sir,