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Osr. It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.

Ham. But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.

Osr. Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry, as 'twere- I cannot

tell how. But, my lord, his Majesty bade me signify to you that

he has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the

matter-

Ham. I beseech you remember.

[Hamlet moves him to put on his hat.]

Osr. Nay, good my lord; for mine ease, in good faith. Sir, here is

newly come to court Laertes; believe me, an absolute gentleman,

full of most excellent differences, of very soft society and

great showing. Indeed, to speak feelingly of him, he is the card

or calendar of gentry; for you shall find in him the continent of

what part a gentleman would see.

Ham. Sir, his definement suffers no perdition in you; though, I

know, to divide him inventorially would dozy th' arithmetic of

memory, and yet but yaw neither in respect of his quick sail.

But, in the verity of extolment, I take him to be a soul of great

article, and his infusion of such dearth and rareness as, to make

true diction of him, his semblable is his mirror, and who else

would trace him, his umbrage, nothing more.

Osr. Your lordship speaks most infallibly of him.

Ham. The concernancy, sir? Why do we wrap the gentleman in our more rawer breath

Osr. Sir?

Hor [aside to Hamlet] Is't not possible to understand in another

tongue? You will do't, sir, really.

Ham. What imports the nomination of this gentleman

Osr. Of Laertes?

Hor. [aside] His purse is empty already. All's golden words are spent.

Ham. Of him, sir.

Osr. I know you are not ignorant-

Ham. I would you did, sir; yet, in faith, if you did, it would not

much approve me. Well, sir?

Osr. You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is-

Ham. I dare not confess that, lest I should compare with him in

excellence; but to know a man well were to know himself.

Osr. I mean, sir, for his weapon; but in the imputation laid on him

by them, in his meed he's unfellowed.

Ham. What's his weapon?

Osr. Rapier and dagger.

Ham. That's two of his weapons- but well.

Osr. The King, sir, hath wager'd with him six Barbary horses;

against the which he has impon'd, as I take it, six French

rapiers and poniards, with their assigns, as girdle, hangers, and

so. Three of the carriages, in faith, are very dear to fancy,

very responsive to the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of

very liberal conceit.

Ham. What call you the carriages?

Hor. [aside to Hamlet] I knew you must be edified by the margent

ere you had done.

Osr. The carriages, sir, are the hangers.

Ham. The phrase would be more germane to the matter if we could

carry cannon by our sides. I would it might be hangers till then.

But on! Six Barbary horses against six French swords, their

assigns, and three liberal-conceited carriages: that's the French

bet against the Danish. Why is this all impon'd, as you call it?

Osr. The King, sir, hath laid that, in a dozen passes between

yourself and him, he shall not exceed you three hits; he hath

laid on twelve for nine, and it would come to immediate trial

if your lordship would vouchsafe the answer.

Ham. How if I answer no?

Osr. I mean, my lord, the opposition of your person in trial.

Ham. Sir, I will walk here in the hall. If it please his Majesty,

it is the breathing time of day with me. Let the foils be

brought, the gentleman willing, and the King hold his purpose,

I will win for him if I can; if not, I will gain nothing but my

shame and the odd hits.

Osr. Shall I redeliver you e'en so?

Ham. To this effect, sir, after what flourish your nature will.

Osr. I commend my duty to your lordship.

Ham. Yours, yours. [Exit Osric.] He does well to commend it

himself; there are no tongues else for's turn.

Hor. This lapwing runs away with the shell on his head.

Ham. He did comply with his dug before he suck'd it. Thus has he,

and many more of the same bevy that I know the drossy age dotes

on, only got the