The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [728]
-and, I with my ward defending my head, he hot my shin,
and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat
since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i' th'
town?
ANNE.
I think there are, sir; I heard them talk'd of.
SLENDER.
I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the
bear loose, are you not?
ANNE.
Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER.
That's meat and drink to me now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the
chain; but I warrant you, the women have so cried and
shriek'd at it that it pass'd; but women, indeed, cannot
abide 'em; they are very ill-favour'd rough things.
Re-enter PAGE
PAGE.
Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
SLENDER.
I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE.
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come, come.
SLENDER.
Nay, pray you lead the way.
PAGE.
Come on, sir.
SLENDER.
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE.
Not I, sir; pray you keep on.
SLENDER.
Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you that wrong.
ANNE.
I pray you, sir.
SLENDER.
I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You
do yourself wrong indeed, la! Exeunt
SCENE 2.
Before PAGE'S house
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE
EVANS.
Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which
is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which
is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook,
or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
SIMPLE.
Well, sir.
EVANS.
Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a
oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne
Page; and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit
your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you
be gone. I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins
and cheese to come. Exeunt
SCENE 3.
The Garter Inn
Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN
FALSTAFF.
Mine host of the Garter!
HOST.
What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.
FALSTAFF.
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST.
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF.
I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST.
Thou'rt an emperor-Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I
will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I
well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF.
Do so, good mine host.
HOST.
I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me
see thee froth and lime. I am at a word; follow. Exit HOST
FALSTAFF.
Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade;
an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd serving-man a
fresh tapster. Go; adieu.
BARDOLPH.
It is a life that I have desir'd; I will thrive.
PISTOL.
O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot
wield? Exit BARDOLPH
NYM.
He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF.
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his
thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful
singer-he kept not time.
NYM.
The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.
PISTOL.
'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal' foh! A fico for the phrase!
FALSTAFF.
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL.
Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF.
There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
PISTOL.
Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF.
Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL.
I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF.
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL.
Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF.
No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist
two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about
thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I
spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she
gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her
familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be
English'd rightly, is 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'
PISTOL.
He hath studied her well, and translated her