The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [739]
EVANS.
There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE.
We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.
EVANS.
Fery well; what is it?
PAGE.
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having
received wrong by some person, is at most odds with
his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.
SHALLOW.
I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never
heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
EVANS.
What is he?
PAGE.
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.
EVANS.
Got's will and his passion of my heart! I had as lief
you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE.
Why?
EVANS.
He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and
Galen, and he is a knave besides-a cowardly knave as you
would desires to be acquainted withal.
PAGE.
I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
SLENDER.
[Aside] O sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW.
It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder;
here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY
PAGE.
Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW.
So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST.
Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep
their limbs whole and hack our English.
CAIUS.
I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear.
Verefore will you not meet-a me?
EVANS.
[Aside to CAIUS] Pray you use your patience; in good time.
CAIUS.
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.
EVANS.
[Aside to CAIUS] Pray you, let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in
friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.
[Aloud] I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb
for missing your meetings and appointments.
CAIUS.
Diable! Jack Rugby-mine Host de Jarteer-have I
not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?
EVANS.
As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the
place appointed. I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
HOST.
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
soul-curer and body-curer.
CAIUS.
Ay, dat is very good! excellent!
HOST.
Peace, I say. Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I
politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my
doctor? No; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I
lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me
the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
so. Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have
deceiv'd you both; I have directed you to wrong places;
your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt
sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow
me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.
SHALLOW.
Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.
SLENDER.
[Aside] O sweet Anne Page!
Exeunt all but CAIUS and EVANS
CAIUS.
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us,
ha, ha?
EVANS.
This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I
desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains
together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging
companion, the host of the Garter.
CAIUS.
By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me
where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.
EVANS.
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
Exeunt
SCENE 2.
The street in Windsor
Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN
MRS.
PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were
wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether
had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?
ROBIN.
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than
follow him like a dwarf.
MRS.
PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you'll be a courtier.
Enter FORD
FORD.
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MRS.
PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?
FORD.
Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of
company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.
MRS.
PAGE. Be sure of that-two other husbands.
FORD.
Where had you this