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SHALLOW.

He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

ANNE.

Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

SHALLOW.

Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that

good comfort. She calls you, coz; I'll leave you.

ANNE.

Now, Master Slender-

SLENDER.

Now, good Mistress Anne-

ANNE.

What is your will?

SLENDER.

My Will! 'Od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest

indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not

such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

ANNE.

I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?

SLENDER.

Truly, for mine own part I would little or nothing

with you. Your father and my uncle hath made motions;

if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They

can tell you how things go better than I can. You may ask

your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE

PAGE.

Now, Master Slender! Love him, daughter Anne-

Why, how now, what does Master Fenton here?

You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house.

I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

FENTON.

Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.

MRS.

PAGE. Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.

PAGE.

She is no match for you.

FENTON.

Sir, will you hear me?

PAGE.

No, good Master Fenton.

Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender; in.

Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.

Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

QUICKLY.

Speak to Mistress Page.

FENTON.

Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,

I must advance the colours of my love,

And not retire. Let me have your good will.

ANNE.

Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.

MRS.

PAGE. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

QUICKLY.

That's my master, Master Doctor.

ANNE.

Alas, I had rather be set quick i' th' earth.

And bowl'd to death with turnips.

MRS.

PAGE. Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy;

My daughter will I question how she loves you,

And as I find her, so am I affected;

Till then, farewell, sir; she must needs go in;

Her father will be angry.

FENTON.

Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan.

Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ANNE

QUICKLY.

This is my doing now: 'Nay,' said I 'will you cast

away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on

Master Fenton.' This is my doing.

FENTON.

I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night

Give my sweet Nan this ring. There's for thy pains.

QUICKLY.

Now Heaven send thee good fortune! [Exit

FENTON] A kind heart he hath; a woman would run through

fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my

master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had

her; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton had her; I will

do what I can for them all three, for so I have promis'd,

and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for Master

Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff

from my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!

Exit

SCENE 5.

The Garter Inn

Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH

FALSTAFF.

Bardolph, I say!

BARDOLPH.

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF.

Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in 't.

Exit BARDOLPH

Have I liv'd to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of

butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if

I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out

and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift.

The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse

as they would have drown'd a blind bitch's puppies, fifteen

i' th' litter; and you may know by my size that I have

a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as

hell I should down. I had been drown'd but that the shore

was shelvy and shallow-a death that I abhor; for the water

swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when

had been swell'd! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with sack

BARDOLPH.

Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you

FALSTAFF.

Come, let me pour in