The Conflict [95]
effort she forced her eyes to meet his.
``Now--smile, Jane!''
His smile was contagious. The curve of her lips changed; her eyes gleamed.
``Am I not reading your thoughts?'' said he.
``You are very clever, Victor,'' admitted she.
``Good. We are getting on. You believed that, once we were engaged, I would gradually begin to yield, to come round to your way of thinking. You had planned for me a career something like Davy Hull's--only freer and bolder. I would become a member of your class, but would pose as a representative of the class I had personally abandoned. Am I right?''
``Go on, Victor,'' she said.
``That's about all. Now, there are just two objections to your plan. The first is, it wouldn't work. My associates would be `on to' me in a very short time. They are shrewd, practical, practically educated men --not at all the sort that follow Davy Hull or are wearing Kelly's and House's nose rings. In a few months I'd find myself a leader without a following-- and what is more futile and ridiculous than that?''
``They worship you,'' said Jane. ``They trust you implicitly. They know that whatever you did would be for their good.''
He laughed heartily. ``How little you know my friends,'' said he. ``I am their leader only because I am working with them, doing what we all see must be done, doing it in the way in which we all see it must be done.''
``But THAT is not power!'' cried Jane.
``No,'' replied Victor. ``But it is the career I wish-- the only one I'd have. Power means that one's followers are weak or misled or ignorant. To be first among equals--that's worth while. The other thing is the poor tawdriness that kings and bosses crave and that shallow, snobbish people admire.''
``I see that,'' said Jane. ``At least, I begin to see it. How wonderful you are!''
Victor laughed. ``Is it that I know so much, or is it that you know so little?''
``You don't like for me to tell you that I admire you?'' said Jane, subtle and ostentatiously timid.
``I don't care much about it one way or the other,'' replied Victor, who had, when he chose, a rare ability to be blunt without being rude. ``Years ago, for my own safety, I began to train myself to care little for any praise or blame but my own, and to make myself a very searching critic of myself. So, I am really flattered only when I win my own praise--and I don't often have that pleasure.''
``Really, I don't see why you bother with me,'' said she with sly innocence--which was as far as she dared let her resentments go.
``For two reasons,'' replied he promptly. ``It flatters me that you are interested in me. The second reason is that, when I lost control of myself yesterday, I involved myself in certain responsibilities to you. It has seemed to me that I owe it to myself and to you to make you see that there is neither present nor future in any relations between us.''
She put out her hand, and before he knew what he was doing he had clasped it. With a gentle, triumphant smile she said: ``THERE'S the answer to all your reasoning, Victor.''
He released her hand. ``AN answer,'' he said, ``but not the correct answer.'' He eyed her thoughtfully. ``You have done me a great service,'' he went on. ``You have shown me an unsuspected, a dangerous weakness in myself. At another time--and coming in another way, I might have made a mess of my career--and of the things that have been entrusted to me.'' A long pause, then he added, to himself rather than to her, ``I must look out for that. I must do something about it.''
Jane turned toward him and settled herself in a resolute attitude and with a resolute expression. ``Victor,'' she said, ``I've listened to you very patiently. Now I want you to listen to me. What is the truth about us? Why, that we are as if we had been made for each other. I don't know as much as you do. I've led a much narrower life. I've been absurdly mis- educated. But as soon as I saw you I felt that I had found the man I was looking for. And I believe--I feel--I KNOW you were
``Now--smile, Jane!''
His smile was contagious. The curve of her lips changed; her eyes gleamed.
``Am I not reading your thoughts?'' said he.
``You are very clever, Victor,'' admitted she.
``Good. We are getting on. You believed that, once we were engaged, I would gradually begin to yield, to come round to your way of thinking. You had planned for me a career something like Davy Hull's--only freer and bolder. I would become a member of your class, but would pose as a representative of the class I had personally abandoned. Am I right?''
``Go on, Victor,'' she said.
``That's about all. Now, there are just two objections to your plan. The first is, it wouldn't work. My associates would be `on to' me in a very short time. They are shrewd, practical, practically educated men --not at all the sort that follow Davy Hull or are wearing Kelly's and House's nose rings. In a few months I'd find myself a leader without a following-- and what is more futile and ridiculous than that?''
``They worship you,'' said Jane. ``They trust you implicitly. They know that whatever you did would be for their good.''
He laughed heartily. ``How little you know my friends,'' said he. ``I am their leader only because I am working with them, doing what we all see must be done, doing it in the way in which we all see it must be done.''
``But THAT is not power!'' cried Jane.
``No,'' replied Victor. ``But it is the career I wish-- the only one I'd have. Power means that one's followers are weak or misled or ignorant. To be first among equals--that's worth while. The other thing is the poor tawdriness that kings and bosses crave and that shallow, snobbish people admire.''
``I see that,'' said Jane. ``At least, I begin to see it. How wonderful you are!''
Victor laughed. ``Is it that I know so much, or is it that you know so little?''
``You don't like for me to tell you that I admire you?'' said Jane, subtle and ostentatiously timid.
``I don't care much about it one way or the other,'' replied Victor, who had, when he chose, a rare ability to be blunt without being rude. ``Years ago, for my own safety, I began to train myself to care little for any praise or blame but my own, and to make myself a very searching critic of myself. So, I am really flattered only when I win my own praise--and I don't often have that pleasure.''
``Really, I don't see why you bother with me,'' said she with sly innocence--which was as far as she dared let her resentments go.
``For two reasons,'' replied he promptly. ``It flatters me that you are interested in me. The second reason is that, when I lost control of myself yesterday, I involved myself in certain responsibilities to you. It has seemed to me that I owe it to myself and to you to make you see that there is neither present nor future in any relations between us.''
She put out her hand, and before he knew what he was doing he had clasped it. With a gentle, triumphant smile she said: ``THERE'S the answer to all your reasoning, Victor.''
He released her hand. ``AN answer,'' he said, ``but not the correct answer.'' He eyed her thoughtfully. ``You have done me a great service,'' he went on. ``You have shown me an unsuspected, a dangerous weakness in myself. At another time--and coming in another way, I might have made a mess of my career--and of the things that have been entrusted to me.'' A long pause, then he added, to himself rather than to her, ``I must look out for that. I must do something about it.''
Jane turned toward him and settled herself in a resolute attitude and with a resolute expression. ``Victor,'' she said, ``I've listened to you very patiently. Now I want you to listen to me. What is the truth about us? Why, that we are as if we had been made for each other. I don't know as much as you do. I've led a much narrower life. I've been absurdly mis- educated. But as soon as I saw you I felt that I had found the man I was looking for. And I believe--I feel--I KNOW you were