The Contrast [5]
Sally Bloomsbury married!--why, she is not yet in her teens.
CHARLOTTE
I do not know how that is, but you may depend upon it, 'tis a done affair. I have it from the best au- thority. There is my aunt Wyerly's Hannah. You know Hannah; though a black, she is a wench that was never caught in a lie in her life. Now, Hannah has a brother who courts Sarah, Mrs. Catgut the mil- liner's girl, and she told Hannah's brother, and Han- nah, who, as I said before, is a girl of undoubted veracity, told it directly to me, that Mrs. Catgut was making a new cap for Miss Bloomsbury, which, as it was very dressy, it is very probable is designed for a wedding cap. Now, as she is to be married, who can it be to but to Mr. Indigo? Why, there is no other gentleman that visits at her papa's.
LETITIA
Say not a word more, Charlotte. Your intelligence is so direct and well grounded, it is almost a pity that it is not a piece of scandal.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! I am the pink of prudence. Though I cannot charge myself with ever having discredited a tea-party by my silence, yet I take care never to report any thing of my acquaintance, especially if it is to their credit,--discredit, I mean,--until I have searched to the bottom of it. It is true, there is infinite pleasure in this charitable pursuit. Oh! how delicious to go and condole with the friends of some backsliding sister, or to retire with some old dowager or maiden aunt of the family, who love scandal so well that they cannot forbear gratifying their appetite at the expense of the reputation of their nearest relations! And then to return full fraught with a rich collection of circum- stances, to retail to the next circle of our acquaintance under the strongest injunctions of secrecy,--ha, ha, ha!--interlarding the melancholy tale with so many doleful shakes of the head, and more doleful "Ah! who would have thought it! so amiable, so prudent a young lady, as we all thought her, what a mon- strous pity! well, I have nothing to charge myself with; I acted the part of a friend, I warned her of the principles of that rake, I told her what would be the consequence; I told her so, I told her so."--Ha, ha, ha!
LETITIA
Ha, ha, ha! Well, but, Charlotte, you don't tell me what you think of Miss Bloomsbury's match.
CHARLOTTE
Think! why I think it is probable she cried for a plaything, and they have given her a husband. Well, well, well, the puling chit shall not be deprived of her plaything: 'tis only exchanging London dolls for American babies.--Apropos, of babies, have you heard what Mrs. Affable's high-flying notions of deli- cacy have come to?
LETITIA
Who, she that was Miss Lovely?
CHARLOTTE
The same; she married Bob Affable of Schenectady. Don't you remember?
Enter SERVANT.
SERVANT.
Madam, the carriage is ready.
LETITIA
Shall we go to the stores first, or visiting?
CHARLOTTE
I should think it rather too early to visit, especially Mrs. Prim; you know she is so particular.
LETITIA
Well, but what of Mrs. Affable?
CHARLOTTE
Oh, I'll tell you as we go; come, come, let us hasten. I hear Mrs. Catgut has some of the prettiest caps arrived you ever saw. I shall die if I have not the first sight of them. [Exeunt.
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[illustration omitted]
SCENE II.
A Room in VAN ROUGH'S House
MARIA sitting disconsolate at a Table, with Books, &c.
SONG.
I.
The sun sets in night, and the stars shun the day; But glory remains when their lights fade away! Begin, ye tormentors! your threats are in vain, For the son of Alknomook shall never complain.
II.
Remember the arrows he shot from his bow; Remember your chiefs by his hatchet laid low: Why so slow?--do you wait till I shrink from the pain? No--the son of Alknomook will never complain.
III.
Remember the wood where in ambush we lay, And the scalps which we bore from your nation away: Now the flame rises fast, you exult in my pain; But the son of Alknomook can never complain.
IV.