The Cost [28]
from the Auditorium, Pierson won two hundred at roulette, Chalmers lost seventy--they had about fourteen hundred dollars for their four days' "dance." When they took the train for Battle Field they had spent all they had with them--had flung it away for dinners, for drives, for theaters, for suppers, for champagne. All the return journey Scarborough stared moodily out of the car window. And at every movement that disturbed his clothing there rose to nauseate him, to fill him with self-loathing, the odors of strong, sickening-sweet perfumes.
The next day but one, as he was in the woods near Indian Rock, he saw Olivia coming toward him. They had hardly spoken for several months. He turned to avoid her but she came on after him.
"I wish to talk with you a few minutes, Mr. Scarborough," she said coldly, storm in her brave eyes.
"At your service," he answered with strained courtesy. And he walked beside her.
"I happen to know," she began, "that they're going to expel you and Fred Pierson the next time you leave here without permission."
"Indeed! You are very kind to warn me of my awful danger." He looked down at her with a quizzical smile.
"And I wish to say I think it's a disgrace that they didn't do it long ago," she went on, her anger rising to the bait of his expression.
"Your opinions are always interesting," he replied. "If you have nothing further I'll ask your permission to relieve you of----"
"No," she interrupted. "I've not said what I wished to say. You're making it hard for me. I can't get accustomed to the change in you since last year. There used to be a good side to you, a side one could appeal to. And I want to talk about--Fred. You're RUINING him."
"You flatter me." He bowed mockingly. "But I doubt if HE'D feel flattered."
"I've told him the same thing, but you're too strong for me." Her voice trembled; she steadied it with a frown. "I can't influence him any longer."
"Really, Miss Shrewsbury----"
"Please!" she said. "Fred and I were engaged. I broke it last night. I broke it because--you know why."
Scarborough flushed crimson.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't know he was engaged."
"I know you, Hampden Scarborough," Olivia continued. "I've understood why you've been degrading yourself. And I haven't blamed you--though I've wondered at your lack of manhood."
"You are imposing on my courtesy," he said haughtily.
"I can't help it. You and I must talk this thing to the end. You're robbing me of the man I love. Worse than that, you're destroying him, dragging him down to a level at which HE may stay, while YOU are sure to rise again. You've got your living to make--I don't agree with those who think you'll become a professional gambler. But he his father's rich and indulgent, and--God only knows how low he'll sink if you keep on pushing him."
"You are excited, hysterical. You misjudge him, believe me," said Scarborough, gently.
"No--I know he's not depraved--yet. Do you think _I_ could care for him if he were?"
"I hope so. That's when he'd need it most."
Olivia grew red. "Well, perhaps I should. I'm a fool, like all women. But I ask you to let him alone, to give his better self a chance."
"Why not ask him to let ME alone--to give MY better nature a chance?"
"You--laughing at me in these circumstances! You who pretended to be a man, pretended to love Pauline Gardiner----"
He started and his eyes blazed, as if she had cut him across the face with a whip. Then he drew himself up with an expression of insolent fury. His lips, his sharp white teeth, were cruel.
She bore his look without flinching.
"Yes," she went on, "you think you love her. Yet you act as if her love were a degrading influence in your life, as if she were a bad woman instead of one who ought to inspire a man to do and be his best. How ashamed she'd be of you, of your love, if she could see you as you are now--the tempter of all the bad impulses in this college."
He could not trust himself to reply. He was suffocating with rage and shame.
The next day but one, as he was in the woods near Indian Rock, he saw Olivia coming toward him. They had hardly spoken for several months. He turned to avoid her but she came on after him.
"I wish to talk with you a few minutes, Mr. Scarborough," she said coldly, storm in her brave eyes.
"At your service," he answered with strained courtesy. And he walked beside her.
"I happen to know," she began, "that they're going to expel you and Fred Pierson the next time you leave here without permission."
"Indeed! You are very kind to warn me of my awful danger." He looked down at her with a quizzical smile.
"And I wish to say I think it's a disgrace that they didn't do it long ago," she went on, her anger rising to the bait of his expression.
"Your opinions are always interesting," he replied. "If you have nothing further I'll ask your permission to relieve you of----"
"No," she interrupted. "I've not said what I wished to say. You're making it hard for me. I can't get accustomed to the change in you since last year. There used to be a good side to you, a side one could appeal to. And I want to talk about--Fred. You're RUINING him."
"You flatter me." He bowed mockingly. "But I doubt if HE'D feel flattered."
"I've told him the same thing, but you're too strong for me." Her voice trembled; she steadied it with a frown. "I can't influence him any longer."
"Really, Miss Shrewsbury----"
"Please!" she said. "Fred and I were engaged. I broke it last night. I broke it because--you know why."
Scarborough flushed crimson.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't know he was engaged."
"I know you, Hampden Scarborough," Olivia continued. "I've understood why you've been degrading yourself. And I haven't blamed you--though I've wondered at your lack of manhood."
"You are imposing on my courtesy," he said haughtily.
"I can't help it. You and I must talk this thing to the end. You're robbing me of the man I love. Worse than that, you're destroying him, dragging him down to a level at which HE may stay, while YOU are sure to rise again. You've got your living to make--I don't agree with those who think you'll become a professional gambler. But he his father's rich and indulgent, and--God only knows how low he'll sink if you keep on pushing him."
"You are excited, hysterical. You misjudge him, believe me," said Scarborough, gently.
"No--I know he's not depraved--yet. Do you think _I_ could care for him if he were?"
"I hope so. That's when he'd need it most."
Olivia grew red. "Well, perhaps I should. I'm a fool, like all women. But I ask you to let him alone, to give his better self a chance."
"Why not ask him to let ME alone--to give MY better nature a chance?"
"You--laughing at me in these circumstances! You who pretended to be a man, pretended to love Pauline Gardiner----"
He started and his eyes blazed, as if she had cut him across the face with a whip. Then he drew himself up with an expression of insolent fury. His lips, his sharp white teeth, were cruel.
She bore his look without flinching.
"Yes," she went on, "you think you love her. Yet you act as if her love were a degrading influence in your life, as if she were a bad woman instead of one who ought to inspire a man to do and be his best. How ashamed she'd be of you, of your love, if she could see you as you are now--the tempter of all the bad impulses in this college."
He could not trust himself to reply. He was suffocating with rage and shame.