The Courage Tree - Diane Chamberlain [130]
“But isn’t that a bizarre coincidence, that Lucas happened to take the Ayr Creek job, with Sophie living in the cottage there?”
“It was no coincidence,” Joe said. He drew in a long breath, then let everything Lucas had told him that morning spill out of him. He described the loss of Lucas’s own daughter, his discovery that he had a half brother named Joe, and his manipulation of every law in the books to get Sophie into the study. By the time he’d finished talking, Paula was crying.
“Why are you crying?” he asked.
“Because I hurt for you.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Thank you.”
“And I love you.”
He looked at her, surprised by the emotion, the ardor in her voice.
“I love you, too,” he said.
“No, Joe. I mean I love you,” she said. “Not just as a friend, which I know is how you mean it.”
He studied her face—the fine lines around her eyes, the freckle on her left nostril, the one lock of dark hair that never stayed in place above her ear. She was dear to him. But it was true that he had never thought of her as anything more than a very close friend.
“You know you’re very special to me, don’t you?” he asked, knowing those words were a weak response to her admission.
“Yes, I do. And I’ve watched you yearn for Janine,” she said. “It’s hurt me, because I wanted it to be me you were yearning for.”
“I’ve always been honest with you,” he said. “I mean, I never gave you reason to—”
“No, you’ve made it clear we were just friends. But that hasn’t stopped me from wanting more. Or from loving you.”
Joe shook his head. “I’m not even sure I know what love is anymore,” he said, frustrated.
“You do.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you showed it to me when my mom died,” she said. “You came over to be with me in the middle of the night. You skipped work and your golf game and dropped everything for me. You drove down to Florida with me, so I wouldn’t have to make the trip alone, and you worried about me when I didn’t eat. I felt very, truly…loved. So, I don’t believe you when you say you don’t know what love is. I think you are positively over-flowing with it, Joey. For Sophie. For Janine. And even for me.”
He thought back to the moment Paula had called him to tell him that her mother had died. He’d felt her pain across the phone line, felt it deep in his bones, deep enough that it had brought tears to his eyes. He would have done anything in his power to save her from that hurt.
“Come here, Paula,” he said, pulling her close to him again. He held her tightly, feeling himself fill with gratitude and admiration for her, and he wondered if she just might be right about him, after all.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
“We’re all so sorry about Sophie,” the nurse said when Joe checked in at the reception desk in Schaefer’s office Tuesday morning. She had red hair, the same shade as Sophie’s, and he couldn’t stop staring at it.
“Thanks,” he said. “And thanks for squeezing me in today.”
“No problem. I know Dr. Schaefer would want to extend his condolences to you in person.” She peered over her shoulder to look down a long hallway. “I can take you back right now,” she said. “The kids are getting their Herbalina IVs, and he’s in his office.”
He followed her through the waiting room door and down the hall, remembering the only other time he’d set foot in this office. He’d left yelling then, cursing this fool of a doctor for taking advantage of Janine and making a guinea pig out of Sophie. God, he’d been a pompous ass.
But Dr. Schaefer did not seem one to hold grudges. He stood up and reached across his desk to shake Joe’s hand, and the smile he wore was kind and sympathetic.
“Mr. Donohue,” he began. Motioning to one of the chairs in the room with his small, wiry hand. “Please, uh, have a seat.”
Joe took a seat on the other side of Schaefer’s broad walnut desk.
“I’m sorry about Sophie,” Schaefer said. “It’s an incredible