The Courage Tree - Diane Chamberlain [51]
“Would you like me to come with you?” There was hope in Joe’s voice.
“No,” she said. “I should try to get some sleep if I’m going to fly tomorrow.”
“Maybe I’ll search from the ground again,” he said. “Although—” he shrugged “—I don’t know where to begin or where to end anymore.”
She leaned forward to hug him, something she hadn’t done in years. “We have to keep trying,” she said.
He seemed reluctant to let go of her, and she was first to draw away, remembering what he’d said in the car about wishing they could get back together. She didn’t want to give him false hope.
“Maybe Paula could go with you tomorrow,” she suggested.
He nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. She’d have to take time off from work, but I know she’d want to.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry you’ve had this misperception of her all these years.”
“I’m glad to know I was wrong.” She turned away from the mansion and headed for the driveway. “Good night,” she called over her shoulder. She would leave her parents to Joe.
Once inside her cottage, she immediately sat down on the sofa and reached for the phone.
“Any news?” Lucas asked, when he picked up on his end. He’d obviously been waiting for her call.
“Nothing.” She heard the remarkable flatness in her voice. How could she sound so calm, so stoic, when her insides were in turmoil?
“You must be going crazy, Jan.”
“I’m leasing a helicopter tomorrow,” she told him. “I wanted to know if you’d go up with me.”
There was silence on his end of the line. “Won’t your parents or Joe know something’s up between us if I did that?”
“I don’t care if anyone knows, Lucas. I’m tired of this, and I’m sorry I insisted on keeping our relationship secret for this long. It’s ridiculous. I’ve been afraid of what my parents and Joe would say for my entire adult life. You’re the person I need at my side right now, and I don’t care who knows it.”
“And that’s where I want to be,” he said quickly. “It’s been hard today and yesterday, not being able to be with you, with all that’s going on.”
“Come over,” she said. “Can you, please?”
“Why don’t you come here?”
She loved the tree house, and he knew it. But not tonight.
“I need to stay here,” she said. “In case…there’s any news.”
“Okay. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
She hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen, where she opened the refrigerator and stared at its contents. It seemed as though it had been weeks since she’d looked in there, and nothing was appealing. Shutting the door, she wandered down the hall to Sophie’s dark room. The door was closed, and when she opened it, Sophie’s smell, that delicious scent of the balsam shampoo her daughter loved, greeted her, and she felt weak-kneed. Sophie was still alive in this room. God willing, she was still alive wherever she was.
Picking up the teddy bear from the pillow, she lay down on Sophie’s bed and stared at the ceiling. She’d often wondered how parents dealt with the disappearance of their children. How did they survive that period of uncertainty? She was living it, and she still didn’t know the answer to that question.
Hugging the stuffed bear to her chest, she raised her head to look out the window.
Lucas, hurry, please.
She wondered how, just eight short months ago, she had seen him as an enemy.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Mommy, I think I’m going to throw up again,” Sophie said, as she and Janine got out of the car in the turnaround of the Ayr Creek driveway. The weather was growing cold. Thanksgiving was just a week away; the trees were bare and the estate was beginning to take on its gray, wintry look.
“Can you walk fast, honey?” Janine asked her. “Can you make it to the bathroom?”
“I don’t know.” Sophie swallowed hard, her skin pale and damp. She headed down the path toward the cottage, Janine close on her heels.
Lucas was kneeling at the edge of the driveway, wrapping the azaleas in burlap, and Janine put a protective hand on Sophie’s shoulder as she always did around him. He’d been working