The Courts of Love - Jean Plaidy [56]
I watched earnestly, willing them to agree with him.
Some of them—certainly the Bishop of Langres—saw the point. He said: “If we could have these safe places at intervals along the route, Christians would be able to fight off the marauders with confidence, knowing they were on their way to a respite. I would agree with the Prince.”
Louis spoke and I hated him at that moment. “We have not come to fight wars,” he said. “We have come to worship at the shrine of Jerusalem. I shall never allow myself to be led in another direction.”
“This is a fight for Christianity,” insisted Raymond.
“Christianity is for peace,” replied Louis softly.
I could see the fanatical look in his eyes. He was seeing Vitry burning; he was hearing the agonized cries of the victims. I knew that Raymond was pleading a lost cause.
We met later in the arbor.
“Louis is a fool,” cried Raymond.
“A fool and a monk.”
“How could they have married you to such a man?”
“That is what I ask myself.”
“You will not stay with him.”
“I feel that I cannot.”
We made frantic love. We were both disturbed and afraid, although Raymond did not admit it. We knew we were approaching a climax and were unsure what would happen next. It was easy to talk of leaving Louis, of spending the rest of my days in Antioch and Aquitaine—but how possible was that!
I left first on that occasion. And as I passed the shrubbery, I was aware of a shadow there.
I halted and cried out: “Who is there?”
To my horror Thierry Galeran emerged.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“I saw you go into the arbor, my lady. I knew you would tarry there some time. I came to protect you on your way back to the palace.”
I felt the hot color flooding my face.
“Are you . . . spying on me?”
“My duty is to serve the King.”
“And how can you do that prowling about the grounds?”
“I thought it my duty, my lady.”
He was insolent. There was one thought hammering in my mind: He knows.
Perhaps I should have been aware that the whole Court knew. Neither of us, I thought on reflection, had been exactly reticent.
“You alarmed me,” I said. I wanted to humiliate him. My women said that he was very sensitive about his condition. I had never heard why he had been castrated. I wondered if some enemy had done this to him. “At first,” I went on, “I thought you were going to assault me. Well, never mind . . . That is something you could not understand.”
It was his turn to flinch.
I held my head high and walked ahead of him toward the palace. I was very disturbed. Had Louis set him to spy on me? Hardly. It was not Louis’s way. No. Thierry Galeran had taken it upon himself to do so; but I was certain that what he had discovered would be reported to Louis.
I decided that I would confront Louis before Thierry Galeran could do so.
I went to him. He looked rather embarrassed to see me. So perhaps he knew. He would have been aware of my fondness for Raymond but it would never have occurred to him that we could be lovers.
I had changed. Love had changed me. I knew now what I wanted. Before, I had been vaguely dissatisfied. Now I was entirely so. I would not stay with Louis.
I found him at his devotions which irritated me further.
“Louis,” I said. “I must speak to you . . . alone.”
He nodded and signed to those about him to leave him.
Before I could speak he said: “We shall be leaving Antioch in a few days’ time. I have been discussing this with those concerned and they believe we can make the necessary preparation, and in, say, three days resume our journey.”
“It is folly,” I cried. “It is going to begin all over again . . . all the hardship and misery . . .”
“We all know that