The Cruel Stars of the Night - Kjell Eriksson [103]
There were none of his usual apologies or the awkward tiptoeing when he came to subjects that he felt were difficult or that he knew she didn’t like to speak about, instead there was simply a methodological analysis of their life together and the conclusion that it was time to bring it to an end.
When he had finished she turned off the computer, stood up, and threw herself on top of him. The attack came without warning and he fell backward with Jessica on top of him. She hit him in the face with her fists and on his chest. He tried to shield himself, grabbed her wrists and held them in place. She spit in his face, bent over, and tried to bite him but Stig pulled away and managed to throw her off.
“You’re crazy,” he managed to get out.
“Says you, you bastard,” Jessica screamed and Stig caught sight of features in her face he had never seen before.
She resembled an actress he had seen in a play on TV, wild, with distorted, naked features that radiated hatred and a bottomless sorrow. But for the first time he also saw fear in her eyes.
He jumped up from the floor but sank down again on his knees almost at once when he realized she was crying.
“Jessica, I’m so sorry,” he said, “but we’re no good together.”
She curled up, writhing, pulled her arms in front of her face while her body was wracked with sobs.
He put his hand on her shoulder, unable to comprehend what was happening. He had expected many reactions, but not this.
The sobbing stopped after several minutes.
“Please, Jessica,” Stig tried again.
She turned and looked at him with swollen eyes.
“Why?” she said.
“I’ve already explained.”
“I love you.”
Stig stared at her. It had been years since they had said those words to each other.
“I’d rather die than get divorced,” she continued.
“Don’t say that,” he pleaded. “That’s sounds so terrible.”
Jessica pulled herself into a sitting position. Stig stood up. It looked as if they were in the midst of a choreographed dance routine.
“That woman!” Jessica suddenly burst out. “What do you see in her? She’s crazy, you’ve said it yourself.”
“I don’t want to talk about Laura,” Stig said. “We have so much else to talk about.”
“That damn whore!” Jessica screamed. “She hates me. That’s the only reason. She doesn’t love you, she just wants to hurt me, don’t you get it?”
Stig saw how this idea took root in Jessica. He realized it would become her interpretation and that Jessica’s artillery would now be directed at this point in their shared terrain and that she would bombard him with explanations, stories about Laura’s years-old hatred of her, her treachery, and how Laura would dump him when she had achieved the goal of separating the two of them.
“Don’t you understand? She wants to get to me. That’s why she keeps going on about Hausmann. It’s not about phase B, it’s me. That was my suggestion and that’s why it had to be shot down. When she couldn’t do it, when you backed up my idea she had to think of something else.”
Stig pulled himself away. The unpleasantness increased as he observed the frenzy with which his wife presented her arguments.
“I’m having a beer,” he said and walked out to the kitchen.
Jessica got to her feet and followed him and kept talking with an intensity that made him draw back from her.
“We’ll have to talk more tomorrow,” he said in an attempt to interrupt her.
She stopped for a second and stared at him.
“We have to straighten this out right now.”
“We’re exhausted, both of us,” Stig objected.
“So you think we’re going to go to bed as normal, sleep soundly, and then eat breakfast tomorrow morning as if nothing has happened?”
“I know it won’t go back to normal,” he said calmly and sipped his beer.
“Did you get drunk over there?”
“No.”
“You drank wine.”
“A couple of glasses. To keep her company.”
“To keep her company! She got you drunk in order to get you in bed. You are so damned gullible!”
“Calm down, Jessica, nothing