The Cruel Stars of the Night - Kjell Eriksson [126]
“Yes, but I did beat the snow.”
“That’s a good-looking vessel,” the man said.
Stig nodded.
“If you have to go to the bottom of the sea it should be in that kind of beauty,” the man went on.
Stig saw that the man would have liked a chat so he turned his back on him and pretended to be very busy with stretching the tarp even tighter.
The man watched him for a few seconds before moving on.
“Have a nice weekend!” Stig shouted after him and the man held up his hand without turning back.
He had bought the yacht cheaply from an alcoholic lawyer who had lost his docking privileges at the Gräddö Marina. Then he had renovated Evita for two years and put her to sea the same year he met Jessica.
And certainly, Evita was still the apple of his eye, but somehow he didn’t feel the same joy now as before. Jessica had never been particularly interested in the sea. She became seasick easily and it was rare that he could tempt her out onto longer trips. They had gone to Gotland two years ago. After that holiday she had suggested that he sell the cruiser but he had just laughed and dismissed it.
Now it felt as if Jessica had won. All happiness had been swept away. Even the thought that it would soon be spring and that he would soon be taking the covers off Evita and putting her in the sea felt meaningless.
He studied the contours of the yacht under the tarp. He would be able to take her far away. The thought had been there. The Mediterranean, the Canary Islands, maybe even the Caribbean. Through the Panama Canal. Öquist, who had docked beside him at Skärholmen a few years ago had sold everything he owned and sailed away. Sometimes a postcard landed in his mailbox, the last time from an unknown harbor on the west coast of Africa.
Stig Franklin smiled to himself. Maybe it wasn’t completely meaningless, with the boat, with life, simply because he no longer wanted to live with Jessica.
Maybe Laura would come with him? Hadn’t she been talking about some harbor? To leave on his own was out of the question. The yacht needed at least two, ideally three or four on board. It would be too hard, and above all too lonely otherwise.
Uplifted by the thought of an extended boat trip—that suddenly felt more possible than ever—he walked to the car. Regardless of how things turned out with Laura, he was grateful to her. She had acted as a kind of catalyst, set his thoughts and his slumbering dreams in motion. He could see her before him, recalled her furious frenzy as they made love, and became horny all at once. It’s not over for me, he thought, I’m still a man with force. Why would I settle for a boring and predictable existence in a house in Sunnersta?
The thought suddenly appeared preposterous. He steered the car as if in a trance, unaware of the traffic and the dramatic developments in the sky where the rain clouds were arranging themselves in dark columns.
He parked on the street. Stig felt like a young man. He got out of the car, let the door fall shut of its own accord, and locked it nonchalantly. His body was light as a feather, he walked with rapid steps toward the house and smiled to himself.
Perhaps it was his outfit that made him feel so good—his “boating gear” as he called the spotted and bleached-blue overalls and the checkered shirt that had been with him all the years he had owned Evita. They gave him a feeling of ease and freedom. He could almost smell the sea in the often-washed clothes.
“Never again a suit,” he said quietly although he knew it was an untruth, but he liked it: saying the words, releasing the ties, and tasting freedom.
He turned into the garden and walked up the stone paved path, increasingly aroused, like an animal approaching its prey. He saw himself pulling down the suspenders and climbing out of the pants in one move, pulling Laura close and taking her.
The index finger that he used to press the doorbell was trembling. Laura opened at once, stared at him in amazement for a second, and then ran back into the house. Stig heard something that sounded like a scream