The crystal cave - Mary Stewart [3]
Camlach, six foot and golden, looked down at me. His eyes were blue, clear as my mother's, and his colour was high. The mud had dried yellow on his soft doeskin boots, and a smell of sweat and horses came from him. He had come to look at me before even taking the dirt of travel off. I remember how he stared down at me, while my mother stood silent, and my grandfather glowered under his brows, his breath coming harsh and rapid, as it always did when he had put himself in a passion.
"Come here," said my uncle.
I took half a dozen steps forward. I did not dare go nearer. I stopped. From three paces away he seemed taller than ever. He towered over me to the ceiling beams.
"What's your name?"
"Myrddin Emrys."
"Emrys? Child of light, belonging to the gods...? That hardly seems the name for a demon's whelp."
The mildness of his tone encouraged me. "They call me Merlinus," I ventured. "It's a Roman name for a falcon, the corwalch."
My grandfather barked, "Falcon!" and made a sound of contempt, shooting his arm-rings till they jingled.
"A small one," I said defensively, then fell silent under my uncle's thoughtful look.
He stroked his chin, then looked at my mother with his brows up. "Strange choices, all of them, for a Christian household. A Roman demon, perhaps, Niniane?"
She put up her chin. "Perhaps. How do I know? It was dark."
I thought a flash of amusement came and went in his face, but the King swept a hand down in a violent gesture. "You see? That's all you'll get -- lies, tales of sorcery, insolence! Get back to your work, girl, and keep your bastard out of my sight! Now that your brother's home, we'll find a man who'll take the pair of you from under my feet and his! Camlach, I hope you see the sense of getting yourself a wife now, and a son or two, since this is all I'm left with!"
"Oh, I'm for it," said Camlach easily. Their attention had lifted from me. They were going, and neither had touched me. I unclenched my hands and moved back softly, half a pace; another. "But you've got yourself a new queen meantime, sir, and they tell me she's pregnant?"
"No matter of that, you should be wed, and soon. I'm an old man, and these are troubled times. As for this boy" -- I froze again -- "forget him. Whoever sired him, if he hasn't come forward in six years, he'll not do so now. And if it had been Vortigern himself, the High King, he'd have made nothing of him. A sullen brat who skulks alone in corners. Doesn't even play with the other boys -- afraid to, likely. Afraid of his own shadow."
He turned away. Camlach's eyes met my mother's, over my head. Some message passed. Then he looked down at me again, and smiled.
I still remember how the room seemed to light up, though the sun had gone now, and its warmth with it. Soon they would be bringing the rushlights.
"Well," said Camlach, "it's but a fledgling falcon after all. Don't be too hard on him, sir; you've frightened better men than he is, in your time."
"Yourself, you mean? Hah!"
"I assure you."
The King, in the doorway, glared briefly at me under his jutting brows, then with a puff of impatient breath settled his mantle over his arm. "Well, well, let be. God's sweet death, but I'm hungry. It's well past supper-time -- but I suppose you'll want to go and soak yourself first, in your damned Roman fashion? I warn you, we've never had the furnaces on since you left..."
He turned with a swirl of the blue cloak and went out, still talking. Behind me I heard my mother's breath go out, and the rustle of her gown as she sat. My uncle put out a hand to me.
"Come, Merlinus, and talk to me while I bathe in your cold Welsh water. We princes must get to know one another."
I stood rooted. I was conscious of my mother's silence, and how still she sat.
"Come," said my uncle, gently, and smiled at me again.
I ran to him.
***
I went through the hypocaust that night.
This was my own private way, my secret hiding-place