The Daring Book for Girls - Andrea J. Buchanan [122]
Common Mistakes
Not preparing. Make sure you have done your research and know what you are talking about. If you’re not sure, postpone the negotiation until you’ve had time to get ready.
Trying to win at all costs. Arguing or using intimidating behavior is going to hinder rather than help the negotiation process. Remember, the central process of negotiation is discussion with others to reach an agreement or compromise. It’s a dialogue, not a monologue.
Talking too much. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say, and when it’s your turn to speak, be direct and to the point.
Trying to be someone you’re not. The key in negotiation is to be comfortable. If you are trying to act “tough” because you think it will make the discussion go your way, you may be sadly disappointed. Being the most confident version of yourself is better than trying to be the kind of person you think you should be in order to win.
TIPS
Even though it might make you nervous to ask for something, whether it’s a higher salary or more responsibility, it’s important to try to maintain an open and confident attitude. You want to make the person you’re negotiating with want to say yes to you—and it’s very hard to say no to a smiling, friendly person. Some people call this technique to “disarm with charm.” But whether or not you’re good at being “charming,” try to smile, look people directly in the eye, and concentrate on not speaking too fast. Remember, this is just a conversation! You have those all the time. (Also, the people you’re negotiating with may expect you to be nervous or insecure about the negotiation process—so acting comfortable and confident may catch them off guard and make them even more likely to say yes to your request.)
Public Speaking
IF YOU WOULD RATHER DIE than speak in public, you’re in good company: glossophobia (fear of speaking in public, or “stage fright”) affects as much as 75 percent of the population. But speaking in front of a group doesn’t have to be nerve-racking, especially if you practice before you do it. Public speaking shares many of the principles of a good negotiation: Preparation, Practice, and Presenting—with the confidence to “seal the deal.”
PREPARE
Know what you’re going to say
Write out your speech, and practice saying it aloud. You don’t necessarily need to memorize it, but you should know it well enough so that if you had to talk without your notes, you could pull it off.
Know who you’re going to say it to
Knowing your audience is good advice no matter what you are performing. If you know you will be giving a speech in your history class, that’s going to inform your material much differently than if you were giving a toast at your dad’s 50th birthday party. You want to adapt your speech to fit the people you are speaking to. That way nobody gets bored, and what you say will be a good match for your audience.
Know where you’re going to say it
It’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with the place where you’ll be speaking, if you can. Is it a big room or a small one? Will you have to speak loud and project, or will there be a microphone that you will have to adjust? Is there a lectern or a chair, or will you be able to move around while you talk? When you have some information about where you’ll be, you’ll know what to expect before you get there, and that will help cut down on your nerves once it’s showtime.
PRACTICE
Visualize
Most of the fear we have around public speaking isn’t about talking in front of people, but about doing something potentially embarrassing in front of people. To combat this, practice imagining yourself giving your speech and doing a great job. Walk yourself through it in your head, from beginning to end, giving yourself a chance to visualize yourself doing well instead of living out your worst fears.
Realize
Make it real by practicing your speech ahead of time—by yourself, in front of your family, in front of your friends, the family pets, whoever you