The Dark and Hollow Places - Carrie Ryan [76]
I just need to feel the heat of him.
But I don’t know how to tell him all this. That I’m scared and I don’t know how to be normal. I’m broken, just like him, and I’m not sure I can fix myself.
“Catcher.” This time my voice is barely a whisper. “Please,” I add.
He looks up at me, his face gaunt and oh-so sad and lonely. I want to know if he’s been eating and sleeping and taking care of himself. I reach out a hand to him but he’s so far away. He stands there, a rock in the river of Unconsecrated undulating around him. It’s like he doesn’t exist to them.
And then he raises one hand to his mouth, fingers touching his lips. I raise my own hand to my lips as he fades into the wash of death and disappears.
I stand there shivering, wishing he’d come back, but there’s nothing. Just the dead struggling out onto the partially frozen river before the ice cracks and swallows them, lifeless fingers clambering for the stars.
“Doesn’t look like he’s too interested in you,” a voice says. I turn to find a Recruiter climbing the platform steps. He weaves toward me. “His loss.” His ss come out as a slurred hiss. He stops out of reach, his mouth breaking into a slow grin, then adds, “My gain.”
I freeze. My eyes dart everywhere, trying to determine the best escape. The platform’s long and narrow, stairs down to the island on one end and the other hanging out past the wall over the river. There’s a rickety railing of sorts with a rope ladder leading down to the shore. But even if I were to crawl through it I’d just end up on the wrong side of the barricades with no way to get back inside.
Below me a few Unconsecrated who’ve found purchase on the tiny shore reach up for me. One of them’s bald with a white tunic, like the woman in the cage inside the main building. Their moans rip away on the wind.
I shove my hands in my pockets, feeling the small lump of my switchblade there. It’s not much and probably couldn’t cause any mortal wounds, but it makes me feel calmer just holding the cold metal.
I shake my hair back from my face, knowing that the light from the fire at the end of the platform will highlight the scars along my cheek and neck. I hope it makes me look fierce—like a fighter.
The Recruiter’s smile grows wider. “Not many women on this island anymore,” he says. “Not ones you’d want to have a lot of fun with, if you know what I mean.” My stomach turns as I think of the Unconsecrated woman in the death cage and the others lining the hall beyond. He hasn’t moved any closer, just stands there knowing he’s blocking my only escape. “I keep telling Ox he should parade y’all around more often but he seems resistant to the idea. For now.”
My hand’s wrapped so tight around the knife handle in my pocket that I can feel the designs etched into it. “I’m just on my way home,” I tell him.
He laughs. “Aren’t we all.”
“Catcher’s coming right back.” I lift my chin. “He said this would be a short trip.”
“Not if I don’t set the crank on the plague bag down there he’s not,” the Recruiter says, gesturing at the Unconsecrated still turning the useless wheel, the gears disconnected. “Car’s stuck on that side of the river until I say so.”
I try to glance around discreetly and assess the situation. Except for a few other Recruiters huddled around their fires along the wall, we’re the only two out here. I’m sure none of them cares about what’s going on here—even if I screamed or called for help, I doubt anyone would notice. Which means I just have to get out of this situation on my own.
“Good night,” I tell him pointedly as I keep my hands shoved deep in my pockets and move down the platform. I step around him toward the stairs but as I pass he grabs a fistful of my hair.
“Back off,” I growl at him, but he doesn’t let go.
“It gets lonely out here,” he says, rubbing the ends of my hair along his jaw. “I just want to smell something clean and soft.”
My mouth goes dry. “Let go,” I bark, jerking my head away, but he yanks me until I’m arching my back, about to tumble over. He starts to move farther down the platform, pulling me into the darkness