The Dark and Hollow Places - Carrie Ryan [87]
“It’s okay,” he murmurs again. “She’s in her own bed recovering. She’s safe. You’re both safe now.”
I collapse, turning my head away from him. I try to remember exactly how I got here, but all I recall is the cold and the wind. “What happened?”
Catcher takes a deep shaking breath. “They held Elias in a room all day so he couldn’t get you off the shore. When they let him go he ran to find you but you weren’t there. He thought you were dead. He came running back here and found you both just inside the door downstairs.”
He opens his mouth to say more but then closes it as if he’s reconsidering. I feel his arms tighten around me. “All that matters is that you’re okay now,” he finally says, but I can’t truly believe him. I feel like I’ll never be warm again, my body shivering with the memories. “I talked to Ox,” he adds. “Nothing like that will ever happen again. Ever. Not if he wants my cooperation.”
I remember Ox’s face when he tossed me off the platform. When he let the Recruiter hit me. “He won’t care,” I say, sighing. “He’ll do what it takes to keep order.” Reluctantly, I pull away from Catcher. I test my fingers, opening and closing them, but the motion brings with it waves of pain. “We need to find a way out of here,” I tell him.
He stands and walks to the window. Outside it’s a brilliant blue day, so bright it almost hurts my eyes. He nods. “I know. I’ve been trying. I’ve been searching the tunnels and looking for places we can go that might be safe. There’s nothing. Not yet. I’m …” He traces something over the glass. “I’m sorry I’m the reason you’re here.”
I untangle myself from the bed, hissing as my swollen feet hit the floor. I walk over, leaving only a thin line of emptiness between us. “It’s not your fault.”
He shrugs. “I’m the Immune. You’re the bait.” There’s acid in his voice. I can hear how much he hates himself and it isn’t fair.
I press my hand to the back of his neck and he winces as if he’s not used to being touched. “Thank you for returning. I don’t know what would have happened.”
A muscle along his jaw twitches, contracting and relaxing as he grinds his teeth. “I was worried. I shouldn’t have left you like that.” He pauses before softly adding, “I’m sorry.”
My cheeks flush when I remember our confrontation. Me grabbing his hand and pushing it against my chest. Him shoving me away when I tried to kiss him. I move toward the bed and cross my arms, feeling the sting of vulnerability all over again.
But that doesn’t dissuade Catcher. He takes a step closer and then another. I press my lips together, trying not to hope that he might have changed his mind. That he might touch me.
“I was worried about you, after…,” he says. He stops just out of my reach. Keeping me out of his reach as well. “After the other day. After what I said and you said.” He glances away and then back to me.
He’d called me beautiful. “Do you take it back?” I ask, breathless.
My heart pounds a million times as I wait for him to answer.
“Never.” He licks his lips in a nervous gesture and I can’t help staring at them. Imagining the feel of them.
I think about what my sister asked me as we stood huddled together outside the wall. How I didn’t know how to answer her. “What would you do if you knew you had only a few days left to live?” I ask him.
He raises his hand to the back of his neck, a nervous laugh brushing over his lips. “You don’t have to worry about that, Annah,” he says. “I’m going to take care of you. And everyone else. You’re safe.”
I step forward and place my hand on his arm, feeling his muscle flex beneath my touch. I press against him, pushing his hand from his head, pulling it down to his side, threading my fingers through his. The movement places us even closer together. His chest barely touches mine. Now I can feel his breath on my skin. I can feel his heat wavering between us.
“What would you do?” I ask again, softly.
His eyes become serious and I can almost see the emotions roiling inside him. “I’ve already been there, remember?” He pulls