The Dark Side of Disney - Leonard Kinsey [23]
Also, as opposed to the fridges and coffee makers that come stock in the Moderates and Deluxes, the swap appliances don’t get cleaned on a regular basis. And you never know what weird shit people store in their fridge or run through their coffee machines. I heard a story of one lady who cleaned her daughter’s underwear in the coffee maker using shampoo because she didn’t pack enough pairs and didn’t feel like buying more at the gift store.
But this one takes the cake: I was heading back to my room one morning and started talking to a CM while waiting for an elevator. She looked really pissed off, which is rare at WDW, since some really bad shit has to go down for the CMs to break their façade of bliss.
“Tough morning?” I ask, holding a cup of coffee and staring at some really weird-looking stains on the CM’s outfit.
“Um… no,” she says, following my gaze down to the stains. She sees them and curses in Spanish.
I nod, a bit taken aback (I learned Spanish curse-words by imitating Mouth from “The Goonies” as a kid), but try not to show it. “What are those stains?” I ask. They’re glistening in the overhead lights.
“You do not want to know!” she shouts, looking on the verge of a breakdown.
“Sure, I do!” I respond cheerfully. The stains look suspiciously like… Oh Christ. I figure it out before she says it.
“I open fridge someone leave in room, and it is filled with used… condoms!” She chokes back a sob. “They fall on floor and spill everywhere, and I have to clean!”
“That’s some fucked up shit, right there,” I say, legitimately disgusted.
“Yes, I will quit!” She looks down and sighs. “No…. I won’t quit.”
I hand her $20. “I hope your day gets better.”
Her face cracks a smile. When I get back to my room the next day there are at least a dozen towel animals placed all over the room.
SOUVENIRS AND MERCHANDISE
WDW Merch is a Rip-Off:
T-shirts shouldn’t cost $30. There is no reason why anyone should pay $15 for a coffee mug. Yet, I’m consistently amazed when I walk into Mouse Gears at Epcot and see people queued up with piles of merchandise in their hands, waiting to massively overpay for moderate-to-low quality Disney-branded crap.
Just a few years ago WDW merchandise used to be so cool. Each park carried completely different products, and even individual stores had their own theme and neat stuff for sale that you could only get in that one store. Anyone remember the kick-ass Magic Store on Main Street? But now everything is pretty much the same no matter which park or store you’re in. Just like the food, Disney has made all of their merch ultra-generic and bland so they can order larger quantities for cheaper and spread it out across all of their retail outlets all over the globe. But of course none of those volume savings are passed onto the consumer; instead prices are actually jacked up to almost laughable rates.
On the rare occasion I actually see something I really like at the parks I’ll take a picture and order it when I get home. I’ve found 90% of that expensive crap significantly discounted on eBay, and I’m able to get a great deal on it by using a bidding sniper like the one at http://www.bidnip.com. If it can’t be found on eBay oftentimes a wide variety of park merch is highly discounted at the Outlet section of Disney’s own DisneyStore.com. At the very least I’ll have to pay the same price as I would’ve at the parks but won’t have to pay tax, will be able to use a coupon for free shipping, and will also get cashback by shopping through Mr Rebates (http://www.MrRebates.com). So if your kids just have to have those mouse ears in the parks, go ahead and order them ahead of time from DisneyStore.com, get the cashback, and avoid waiting in yet another line during your vacation.
Tip: Cast Members get up to 40% off merchandise! This rate fluctuates,