The Dark Side of Disney - Leonard Kinsey [50]
“Excuse me, M’am,” I started. “It’s our first week here, and we’re a bit lost. Just trying to get out to Tomorrowland?”
She turned and pointed the direction she’d just come from. “Right down that hall,” she said cheerfully.
“Thanks!” we all said at once, as she continued down the stairway we’d just come up.
We breathed a sigh of relief and walked down the hallway she’d pointed to, coming to a set of double doors. We opened them and were blasted with blindingly bright light. Stepping outside, as our eyes adjusted to the daylight we turned back to see a pair of white doors, framed in silver and surrounded by a blue wall. As before, nothing there drawing attention to itself; no signs, no fancy ornamentation. Just plain white doors.
The Utilidor entrance in Tomorrowland
“Awesome,” sighed McGeorge.
“I just about shit my pants when that security guard came by,” said Newmeyer.
“She didn’t care! Nobody cared!” I laughed.
We spent the rest of the day down in The Utilidors, going up every stairway, finding every entrance into the park above. Each time upon turning to see where we’d exited, we were greeted with a nondescript doorway, leading from the ultra-clean faux reality of The Magic Kingdom into a dirty, dingy, ill-kept hallway leading to a stairway. The transition was always jarring.
Random CM not caring we’re down there
We found the employee bank, the costume rental window, multiple break rooms, and a cafeteria. The best find of the day was a doorway that led to an alcove under the seating in The Hall of Presidents, and it was almost like being under the bleachers in a stadium. We amused ourselves for a while listening for the audience to filter in and then beating on the underside of the seats during the show, laughing as people screamed about the ghosts of dead presidents.
Hall of Presidents Utilidor entrance
Eventually the day drew to a close. Exhausted from endless trips up and down two flights of stairs, we stumbled down Main Street, and drove back to our hotel. We spent the evening dangling our feet over the third floor walkway outside of our room, drinking beer, smoking hand-rolled cigarettes, and excitedly going over the details of the day.
Walt Disney World had become fun again.
In the years since I’ve continued to visit The Utilidors, never once encountering any sort of resistance. In fact, even post 9/11, I’m still shocked by how lax security is down there. Some highlights:
Went back down with McGeorge and videotaped the entire walk from Frontierland to Tomorrowland with the videocamera held by my side. It was shaky, but produced some great shots, including a Chip/Dale head poking out of a dumpster and a semi-costumed Cinderella making out with (and getting felt up by) a random CM against a wall. Broadcast this video on the student TV station at my prestigious Ivy League university at least 200 times, and never received any feedback. Apparently I was the only Disney Geek at school.
As a summer camp counselor I brought down two separate groups of 15 teenagers as part of a fake “tour group”. Acted like a tour guide, walking backwards the whole time and pointing out specific landmarks to the gawking kids.
On a recent trip with my mom, who is admittedly not a risk-taker, I got fed up by the blockades setup for the daily parade. We had Fast-Passes and needed to get from Frontierland to Fantasyland to ride Peter Pan. So I dragged her, my wife, and my little brother down the Hall of Presidents entrance, through The Utilidors, and back up to the castle door. I think it was probably the most “dangerous” thing she’d done in 30 years, and she’s still telling her friends how cool it was. When she asked how I knew how to get down there, I told her the story above and her response was,