The Daughter's Walk - Jane Kirkpatrick [133]
“A lighthouse. Timber. I walked where Ole worked and where Mother and Grandmother lived,” I said, looking at my mother. “I found I didn’t leave anything there I need to go back for. And besides, coming home is always best.”
“It always is,” Mama said. She covered my hand with her own. “It always is.”
I didn’t attend Arthur’s funeral. It would detract from what Agnes needed then, which was all the Estby support geared toward her and nothing unpredictable coming from my presence. I planned to visit the cemetery later to lay flowers on Arthur’s grave, and Ole’s and the others.
Both Olea and Louise eagerly heard my story of the visit, and I saw relief when I told them how much I appreciated having them as a family to come home to.
“We’re a pair,” Louise said.
“There are three of us,” Olea corrected.
“That’s right. We’re a triplet. They say good things come in threes.”
“It’s trouble that comes in threes,” Olea said.
“Maybe. But this triplet’s been good for each of us, hasn’t it?”
“Indeed,” I said.
“And your mother forgave you?” Olea asked. “For your association with us?”
“I believe she did,” I said. “Though not in those words. We crossed a bridge, though. We’ll see how things go once we’re on the same side for a time.”
I lit a candle and reminded Louise not to move it. Then I slipped an apron over my head and started supper.
No one had said, “I forgive you.” No one had asked. It wasn’t needed. Love would rebuild like bricks raising a cathedral.
I waited until a Saturday, when I was sure Ida would be at the Hutton Settlement House where she volunteered and Lillian would be working at the millinery on Sprague. Bill said he worked Saturdays until noon. I called on my mother in the morning. I carried a package with me. If Mama was alone, I’d speak with her there; if Bill or Agnes and the children were around, I had other plans.
“Well, howdy, Clara,” Bill said when I stepped inside. He wasn’t exactly warm, but he was cordial. “What brings you this way?”
“It’s a lovely day. I thought I’d see if Mama might let me take her out to lunch.”
“Clara!” Mama said. “Come in. Did you say lunch?”
“I wondered if you’d like to join me for an outing.”
“Oh, I can fix us a bite right here. No need for you to spend your money.”
“I’d like to,” I said. “They make lovely cream puffs at the Davenport.”
“Go,” Bill told his mother. “Bring me one.”
“Can I come too?” Thelma asked. The child wore a big red hair ribbon, and Mama touched it when she put her hand to the back of the girl’s head.
“If Clara doesn’t mind,” Mama said.
“I’d like that,” I said. “If it’s all right with your mother.”
“Maybe another time,” Agnes said. She pulled the girl to her as though I might be carrying disease. Who knew what Ida had said. But maybe she wanted her child near to help her face her loss. I decided to look at it that way.
“I’ll look forward to that. Maybe we can all go to the Davenport together one day.”
“Too rich for my blood,” Bill said.
“She was inviting us girls,” Mama said.
Bill grunted, but he didn’t look displeased.
We walked beneath a canopy of trees along Riverfront. As in the past, my mother set the pace; this time I lessened my stride to remain beside her. Silence marked our steps though it was a pleasant calm. Mama asked about my work, and I told her what I did at the bank. “Well, that’s a good job,” she said. “You were always good with numbers.”
“I was,” I said. “But it didn’t keep me from making financial mistakes.”
“Oh?”
I told her then of our venture with the furs and how we might have made a profit to provide for ourselves and our family in later days, but the war had come. We couldn’t afford insurance. “I lost ten thousand dollars,” I said.
“Oh, Clara.”
“I learned a great deal about how little we really control despite how hard we plan. In hindsight, insurance would have been a good investment, but it was so expensive that even Lloyd’s didn’t want to insure the shipment.”
“Hindsight,” Mama said. “Such a fine binocular into history, so crystal-clear. But you’ve recovered.”
I cleared my throat. “Yes, I recovered.