The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [107]
Chapter 16
OWNERSHIP, TERRITORY,
AND HEIGHT SIGNALS
We stake a physical claim on what we believe is ours
We lean against other people or objects to show a territorial claim to that person or object. Leaning against something can also be used as a method of dominance or intimidation if the object being leaned on belongs to someone else. For example, if you are going to take a photograph of a friend and his new car, boat, or personal belonging, it's likely that he'd lean against his new possession, put his foot on it, or place his arm around it. When he touches the property, it becomes an extension of his body and this is how he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers hold hands or put their arms around each other in public to show competitors they have a claim over that person. The business executive puts his feet on his desk or leans against his office doorway to show his claim to that office and its furnishings. A woman dusts imaginary pieces of lint from the shoulder of her husband to tell other women he's taken.
People showing ownership by connecting
the item to their body
An easy way to intimidate someone is to lean against, sit on, or use their possessions without their permission. In addition to the obvious abuse of another's territory or possessions, such as sitting at his desk or borrowing his car without asking, there are many other subtle intimidation techniques. One is to lean against the doorway in another person's office or to sit in his chair. A salesperson calling on a customer at his home should ask, “Which chair is yours?” before he sits, because sitting in the wrong chair intimidates its owner and puts him offside.
Victoria Beckham confirms her claim to David Beckham by imprinting her hand on his chest
The doorway intimidator
Some people are habitual doorway leaners and go through life intimidating everyone from first introduction. These people are well advised to practice an upright stance with palms visible to create a favorable impression on others. Others form up to 90 percent of their opinion about us in the first four minutes and you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Michael Jackson's purpose in his infamous “baby dangling” incident was to close the distance between the baby and the fans so that they could experience temporary “ownership” of the baby He just overlooked the distance between the baby and the ground
If the boss's chair has no arms— which is unlikely as this is usually a feature of the visitor's chair—he may be seen with one or both feet on the desk. If his superior enters the office, it is unlikely that the boss—who is now the subordinate—would continue to use such an obvious territorial/ownership gesture, but instead would resort to more subtle versions such as putting his foot on the bottom drawer of his desk, or, if there are no drawers in the desk, placing his foot hard against the leg of the desk to stake his claim to it.
Claiming ownership of the desk
Body Lowering and Status
Historically, raising or lowering the height of your body in front of another person has been used as a means of establishing superior-subordinate relationships. We refer to a member of royalty as “Your Highness,” whereas individuals who commit unsavory acts are called “low,” “low-down,” and “lowlifes.” No one wants to be described as “shortsighted,” be “looked down on,” or “fall short” of their targets. The protest rally speaker stands on a soapbox to be higher than everyone else, the judge sits higher than the rest of the court, the Olympic gold-medal winner stands higher than the other medal winners, those who live in a penthouse command more authority than those who live at ground level, some cultures divide their social classes into the “upper class” and “lower class,” and pharmacists stand eighteen inches above