The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [11]
Hillary Clinton uses this cluster when she's not convinced
Rule 2. Look for Congruence
Research shows that nonverbal signals carry about five times as much impact as the verbal channel and that, when the two are incongruent, people—especially women—rely on the nonverbal message and disregard the verbal content.
If you, as the speaker, were to ask the listener shown above to give his opinion about something you've said and he replied that he disagreed with you, his body-language signals would be congruent with his verbal sentences, that is, they would match. If, however, he said he agreed with what you said, he would more likely be lying, because his words and gestures would be incongruent.
When a person's words and body language
are in conflict, women ignore what is said.
If you saw a politician standing behind a lectern speaking confidently but with his arms tightly folded across his chest (defensive) and chin down (critical/hostile) while telling his audience how receptive and open he is to the ideas of young people, would you be convinced? What if he attempted to convince you of his warm, caring approach while giving short, sharp karate chops to the lectern? Sigmund Freud once reported that while a patient was verbally expressing happiness with her marriage, she was unconsciously slipping her wedding ring on and off her finger. Freud was aware of the significance of this unconscious gesture and was not surprised when marriage problems began to surface.
Observation of gesture clusters and congruence of the verbal and body-language channels are the keys to accurately interpreting attitudes through body language.
Rule 3. Read Gestures in Context
All gestures should be considered in the context in which they occur. If, for example, someone was sitting at a bus terminal with his arms and legs tightly crossed and chin down and it was a cold winter's day, it would most likely mean that he was cold, not defensive. If, however, the person used the same gestures while you were sitting across a table from him trying to sell him an idea, product, or service, it could be correctly interpreted as meaning that the person was feeling negative or rejecting your offer.
Cold, not defensive
Throughout this book all body-language gestures will be considered in context and, where possible, gesture clusters will be examined.
Why It Can Be Easy to Misread
Someone who has a soft or limp handshake—especially a man — is likely to be accused of having a weak character and the next chapter on handshake techniques will explore the reason behind this. But if someone has arthritis in their hands, it is likely that they will also use a soft handshake to avoid the pain of a strong one. Similarly, artists, musicians, surgeons, and those whose occupation is delicate and involves use of their hands generally prefer not to shake hands, but, if they are forced into it, they may use a “dead fish” handshake to protect their hands.
Someone who wears ill-fitting or tight clothing may be unable to use certain gestures, and this can affect their use of body language. For example, obese people can't cross their legs. Women who wear short skirts will sit with their legs tightly crossed for protection, but this results in them looking less approachable and less likely to be asked to dance at a nightclub. These circumstances apply to the minority of people, but it is important to consider what effect a person's physical restrictions or disabilities may have on their body movement.
Why Kids Are Easier to Read
Older people are harder to read than younger ones because they have less muscle tone in the face.
The speed of some gestures and how obvious they look to others is also related to the age of the individual. For example, if a five-year-old child tells a lie, he's likely