The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [127]
16a. What Are the Nine Main Signals?
The following three scenes demonstrate typical defense, aggression, and courtship clusters.
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The beginning of the conversation
In the first scene, all three people have their arms folded, two have their legs crossed (defensive), and all have their bodies oriented away from each other, all indicating that they may have just met for the first time. The man on the right appears interested in the woman as he has his right foot twisted around to point at her and he is giving her a sideways glance, combined with raised eyebrows (interest) and a smile; he is leaning toward her with the upper part of his body. She is closed off to both men at this point.
16b. What Are the Eleven Main Signals?
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Five minutes later
The woman has now uncrossed her legs and is standing in the Attention Position, while the man on the left has uncrossed his legs and is pointing one foot at her (interest) and leaning toward her. He is using the Thumbs-in-Belt gesture, which is either intended as a competitive display toward the other man, in which case the attitude is aggression, or is directed toward the woman, making it a sexual display. He is also standing straighter to make himself appear bigger. The man on the right seems intimidated by the other man, as seen by his now more erect stance, his crossed arms, and the fact that he is giving the other man a sideways glance combined with eyebrows down (disapproval) and his smile has gone.
16c. What Are the Fifteen Main Signals?
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Fifteen minutes later
The attitudes and emotions of these people are now clearly shown by their body language. The man on the left has kept his Thumbs-in-Belt, Foot-Forward Position and has turned his body more toward the woman, making it a complete courtship display His thumbs are also gripping his belt much tighter to make the gesture more noticeable and his body has become even more erect. The woman is responding to this courtship display with her own, showing that she is interested in being involved with him. She has uncrossed her arms, turned her body toward him, and is pointing one foot at him. Her courtship gestures include hair touching, exposed wrists, chest forward to show cleavage, and positive facial expression, and she is blowing her cigarette smoke upward (confidence). The man on the right is unhappy about being excluded and is using the Hands-on-Hips gesture (aggressive readiness) and standing Crotch Display to show his displeasure.
In summary, the man on the left has won the woman's attentions and the other man should take a hike in the Himalayas.
How Did You Rate?
130-150 points
Holy intuition, Batman! You are an extremely effective communicator who is sensitive to other people's feelings most of the time. Go to the top of the class!
100-130 points
You are very good with people and generally have a “feel” about what's going on. With perseverance and practice you can become a top-notch communicator.
70-100 points
Sometimes you get how people are feeling about things or about each other, at other times you find out several days later. You need diligent body-language practice.
70 or fewer
You've read this book and still not even scored 70? We suggest you search for a career in computing, accounting, or as a medical receptionist where people skills are not a requirement. Go back to the start of this book and read it again. Meanwhile, do not leave home or even answer a telephone.
Summary
Research has now shown convincingly that if you change your body language, you can change many things about your approach to life. You can alter your mood before going out, feel more confident at work, become more likeable, and be more persuasive or convincing. When you change