The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [4]
For another television show, we conducted an experiment with the cooperation of a local tourist bureau. Tourists entered the bureau to ask for information about local sightseeing and other tourist attractions. They were directed to a counter where they spoke with a tourism officer, a man with blond hair, a mustache, wearing a white shirt and tie. After a few minutes discussing possible itineraries, the man bent down out of sight below the counter to get some brochures. Then another man with a clean-shaven face, dark hair, and wearing a blue shirt appeared from beneath the counter holding the brochures. He continued the discussion from exactly where the first man had left off. Remarkably, around half the tourists failed to notice the change and men were twice as likely as women to completely miss the change, not only in body language but in the appearance of a completely new person! Unless you have an innate ability or have learned to read body language, the chances are you're missing most of it, too. This book will show you what you've been missing.
How We Wrote This Book
Barbara and I have written The Definitive Book of Body Language using my original book, Body Language, as our base. Not only have we considerably expanded on that one, we have also introduced research from new scientific disciplines such as evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology, as well as technologies such as Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), which shows what happens in the brain. We have written it in a style that means it can be opened and read on almost any page at random. We've kept the content mainly to the movement of the body, expressions, and gestures, because these are the things you need to learn to get the most out of every face-to-face encounter. The Definitive Book of Body Language will make you more aware of your own nonverbal cues and signals, and will show you how to use them to communicate effectively and how to get the reactions you want.
This book isolates and examines each component of body language and gesture in simple terms to make it accessible to you. Few gestures are made in isolation of others, however, so we have also, at the same time, tried to avoid oversimplifying things.
There will always be those who throw up their hands in horror and claim that the study of body language is just another means by which scientific knowledge can be used to exploit or dominate others by reading their secrets or thoughts. We feel, however, that this book seeks to give you greater insight into communication with your fellow humans, so that you can have a deeper understanding of other people and, therefore, of yourself. Understanding how something works makes living with it easier, whereas ignorance and lack of understanding promote fear and superstition and make us more critical of others. A bird-watcher doesn't study birds so that he can shoot them down and keep them as trophies. In the same way, the knowledge and skills in body language serve to make every encounter with another person an exciting experience.
For the purpose of simplicity, and unless otherwise stated, the use of “he” or “him” will apply equally to both genders.
Your Body-Language Dictionary
The original book was intended as a working manual for salespeople, managers, negotiators, and executives, but this one can be used for any aspect of your life, be it at home, on a date, or at work. The Definitive Book of Body Language is the result of over thirty years of our cumulative knowledge and involvement in this field and we give you the basic vocabulary you need to read attitudes and emotions. This book will give you answers to some of the most puzzling questions you've ever had about why people use some of the behaviors they do, and it will change forever your own behavior. It will seem as if you've always been in a dark room and, while you could always feel the furnishings, the wall hangings, and the door, you've never actually seen what they look like. This book will be like turning on the lights to see what was always there.