The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [52]
4. The Eye Rub
“See no evil,” said one of the wise monkeys. When a child doesn't want to look at something, he'll cover his eyes with one or both hands. When an adult doesn't want to look at something distasteful, the Eye Rub is likely to occur. The Eye Rub is the brain's attempt to block out the deceit, doubt, or distasteful thing it sees, or to avoid having to look at the face of the person who is being lied to. Men usually rub their eyes vigorously and, if the lie is a real whopper, they will often look away. Women are less likely to use the Eye Rub—instead, they will use small, gentle touching motions just below the eye, because they either have been conditioned as girls to avoid making robust gestures, or to avoid smudging makeup. They also avoid a listener's gaze by looking away.
“I just can't see it.”
“Lying through your teeth” is a commonly used phrase. It refers to a gesture cluster of clenched teeth and a false smile, combined with the Eye Rub. This gesture is used by movie actors to portray insincerity and by “polite” cultures such as the English, who prefer not to tell you exactly what they're thinking.
5. The Ear Grab
Imagine you tell someone, “It only costs $300” and the person grabs their ear, looks away to the side, and says, “It sounds like a good deal to me.” This is a symbolic attempt by the listener to “hear no evil”: trying to block the words he is hearing by putting the hand around or over the ear or tugging at the earlobe. This is the adult version of the Hands-Over-Both-Ears gesture used by the child who wants to block out his parent's reprimands. Other variations of the Ear Grab include rubbing the back of the ear, the Finger Drill—where the fingertip is screwed back and forth inside the ear, pulling at the ear-lobe, or bending the entire ear forward to cover the ear hole.
“I don't want to hear it.”
The Ear Grab can also be a signal that the person has heard enough or may want to speak. As with the Nose Touch, the Ear Grab is used by a person who is experiencing anxiety. Prince Charles often uses both the Ear Grab and the Nose Touch when he enters a room full of people or walks past a large crowd. His anxiety is revealed here and we have never seen a photo or film footage of him using these gestures when he is in the relative safety of his car.
In Italy, however, the Ear Grab is used to indicate that someone is effeminate or gay.
6. The Neck Scratch
The index finger—usually of the writing hand—scratches the side of the neck below the earlobe. Our observations of this gesture reveal the person scratches an average of five times. Rarely is the number of scratches less than five and hardly ever more than five. This gesture is a signal of doubt or uncertainty and is characteristic of the person who says, “I'm not sure I agree.” It is very noticeable when the verbal language contradicts it; for example, when the person says something like, “I can understand how you feel,” but the Neck Scratch indicates they don't.
Showing uncertainty
7. The Collar Pull
Desmond Morris was one of the first to discover that lies cause a tingling sensation in the delicate facial and neck tissues, and a rub or scratch was required to satisfy it. This not only accounts for why people who are uncertain will scratch their neck, it presents a good explanation as to why some people use the Collar Pull when they lie and suspect they have been caught out. Increased blood pressure from the deceit causes sweat to form on the neck when the deceiver feels that you suspect he's not telling the truth.
Getting hot under the collar
It also occurs when a person is feeling angry or frustrated and needs to pull the collar away from his neck in an attempt to let the cool air circulate. When you