The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [61]
How to Avoid Being Attacked or Abused
Most primates avert their gaze to show submission. If an ape is going to display aggression or is likely to attack, it will lock eyes onto its victim. To avoid being attacked, the victim will look away and try to make itself appear smaller. Scientific evidence shows that submission behavior appears to be hardwired into primate brains for survival reasons. Under attack, we make ourselves appear smaller by hunching our shoulders, pulling our arms in close to the body, pressing our knees together and locking our ankles under a chair, dropping our chin to the chest to protect the throat, and averting our gaze by looking away. These gestures activate an “off switch” in the brain of the aggressor and the attack can be avoided.
Making yourself appear smaller turns off
the aggression switch in an aggressor's brain.
This is an ideal position to take if you are being reprimanded by a superior when you actually deserve the reprimand, but it would be detrimental against a random street attack. From a person who is walking past a group of possible assailants in the street it would signal fear and this can contribute to inciting an attack. If you walk upright with larger movements, swinging your arms and legs and having your front open, you will project that you could defend yourself if necessary and so are less likely to be attacked.
The Sideways Glance
The Sideways Glance is used to communicate interest, uncertainty, or hostility. When it is combined with slightly raised eyebrows or a smile, it communicates interest and is frequently used as a courtship signal, mostly by women. If it is clustered with down-turned eyebrows, furrowed brow, or the corners of the mouth down-turned, it signals a suspicious, hostile, or critical attitude.
Extended Blinking
A normal, relaxed blinking rate is six to eight blinks per minute and the eyes are closed for only about one tenth of a second. People under pressure—for instance, when they are lying—are likely to dramatically increase their blinking rate. Extended Blinking is an unconscious attempt by the person's brain to block you from their sight because they've become bored or disinterested or feel they're superior to you. It's as if their brain can no longer tolerate dealing with you, so their eyes shut for two to three seconds or longer to wipe you from sight and remain closed as the person momentarily removes you from his mind.
Shutting you out
Superior types may also tilt their head back to give you a “long look,” commonly known as “looking down one's nose;” this is also done by a person who feels that their importance is not being noticed. This is mainly a Western cultural gesture and a specialty of English people who feel they are upper class. If you see this happening during a conversation, it's a signal that you're not doing well and that a new tack is needed. If you believe the person is simply arrogant, try this: when they've closed their eyes for the third or fourth time, quickly step a pace to your left or right. When their eyelids lift again, it gives the illusion that you've disappeared and materialized in another place and this can really rattle them. If the person also starts snoring, you can safely assume that your communication has failed.
Darting Eyes
When the eyes dart from side to side it can look as if the person is checking out the activity in the room, but the reality is that the brain is searching for escape routes (just as happens in monkeys and apes), revealing a person's insecurity about what is happening.
When you're with a particularly boring individual, your natural urge is to look away for escape routes. But because most of us are aware