The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [74]
She's more likely to be cold or just looking for the restroom
People who habitually cross their arms or legs prefer to say that they are cold rather than admit that they could be nervous, anxious, or defensive. Others simply say they're “comfortable.” That's probably true—when someone feels defensive or insecure, crossed arms and legs feel comfortable because it matches their emotional state.
How We Move from Closed to Open
As people begin to feel more comfortable in a group and get to know others, they move through a series of movements taking them from the defensive crossed-arms-and-legs position to the relaxed open position. This standing “opening-up” procedure follows the same sequence everywhere.
1. Uncertain about each other
2. Openness and acceptance
It begins with the closed position, arms and legs crossed (illustration 1). As they begin to feel comfortable with each other and rapport builds, their legs uncross first and their feet are placed together in the Attention Position. Next, the arm folded on top in the arm-cross comes out and the palm is occasionally flashed when speaking but is eventually not used as a barrier. Instead, it may hold the outside of the other arm in a Single-Arm-Barrier. Both arms unfold next, and one arm gestures or may be placed on the hip or in the pocket. Finally, one person takes the Foot-Forward Position, showing acceptance of the other person (illustration 2).
The European Leg Cross
One leg is crossed neatly over the other, with 70 percent of people crossing left over right. This is the normal crossed-leg position used by European, Asian, and British cultures.
The European/British Leg Cross
When a person crosses both legs and arms, they have emotionally withdrawn from the conversation and it can be futile to try to be convincing when they sit like this.
Not open to communicating on any level
In business contexts, we have found that people sitting like this talk in shorter sentences, reject more proposals, and can recall less detail of what was discussed than those who sit with their arms and legs in an open position.
The American Figure Four
This position is a seated version of a Crotch Display as it highlights the genitals and is used by American males or any cultures that are becoming “Americanized,” such as the youth of Singapore, Japan, and the Philippines. It shows that an argumentative or competitive attitude exists. Monkeys and chimps also use genital displays when they are being aggressive, because a good display can avoid the damage that could be inflicted from a physical fight. With all primates, the male with the most impressive display is seen by the others as the winner. Places like Australia and New Zealand use both European leg crossing and the Figure Four. During the Second World War the Nazis kept a lookout for the Figure Four, as anyone using it was clearly not German or had spent time in the U.S.A.
Ready to argue the point— the American Figure Four
The Figure Four is still uncommon in Britain and Europe among older people, but is now seen in diverse cultures such as Russia, Japan, Sardinia, and Malta among the younger generations who are addicted to American films and television and are mirroring what they see. Men who sit like this are not only perceived as being more dominant, they are also seen as relaxed and youthful. In parts of the Middle East and Asia, however, the Figure Four is seen as an insult because it shows the sole of the shoe and that's the part that walks in dirt.
Women who wear trousers or jeans can sometimes be seen sitting in the Figure Four position, but they usually do it only around other women, not men, as they don't want