The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [80]
When someone walks past others who are talking, admiring a view, or listening to a speaker, they pull their head down, turn their shoulders in, and try to appear smaller and less significant. This is known as the Head Duck. It is also used by subordinates approaching superiors, and reveals the status and power play between individuals.
The Head Duck—trying to appear smaller in order not to cause offense to others
Picking Imaginary Lint
When a person disapproves of the opinions or attitudes of others but doesn't want to say anything, displacement gestures are likely to occur, that is, apparently innocent body-language gestures that reveal a withheld opinion. Picking imaginary pieces of lint from one's own clothing is one such gesture. The lint-picker usually looks down and away from others while performing this seemingly minor, irrelevant action. This is a common signal of disapproval and is a good sign that he doesn't like what's being said, even when he sounds as if he's agreeing with everything.
The lint-picker has a secret opinion and prefers not to state it
Open your palms and say, “What do you think?” or “I can see you have some thoughts on this. Would you mind telling me what they are?” Sit back, arms apart, palms visible, and wait for the answer. If the person says he is in agreement with you but continues to pick the imaginary lint, you may need to take an even more direct approach to discover his hidden objections.
How We Show We're Ready for Action
To appear bigger for fighting or courting rituals, birds will fluff their feathers, fish can expand their body size by sucking in water, and cats or dogs make their fur stand on end. The hairless human, however, no longer has a thick pelt to expand to make himself look more imposing when he is fearful or angry. When we describe a scary movie we often say, “It made my hair stand on end;” if we become angry with someone, “He made the hackles on my neck rise;” and when we are smitten with someone, they can give us “goose bumps.” All these are the body's mechanical reactions to circumstances in which we attempt to make ourselves appear larger and are caused by the erector pillae muscles on the skin, which attempt to make our nonexistent pelt stand up. Modern humans, however, have invented a gesture to help them achieve a bigger physical presence—the Hands-on-Hips gesture.
Elbows up and pointed shows readiness
to dominate; elbows in and head tilted show submission
Hands-on-Hips is used by the child arguing with its parent, the athlete waiting for his event to begin, the boxer waiting for the bout to start, and males who want to issue a nonverbal challenge to other males who enter their territory. In each instance, the person takes the Hands-on-Hips pose and this is a universal gesture used to communicate that a person is ready for assertive action. It lets the person take up more space and has the threat value of the pointed elbows that acts as weapons, preventing others from approaching or passing. The arms being half raised show readiness for attack and this is the position taken by cowboys in a gunfight. Even one hand on the hip will send the intended message, particularly when it's pointed at the intended victim. It's used everywhere, and in the Philippines and Malaysia it carries the even stronger message of anger or outrage.
Also known as the “readiness” gesture, that is, the person is ready for assertive action, its basic meaning carries a subtly aggressive attitude everywhere. It has also been called the “achiever” stance, related to the goal-directed person who is ready to tackle their objectives or is ready to take action on something. Men often use this gesture around women to display an assertive male attitude.
Hands-on-Hips makes you look bigger and more
noticeable because you take up more space.
It's important to consider the context and other body language immediately preceding the Hands-on-Hips pose in order to make an accurate assessment of the person's attitude. For