The Devil's Heart - Carmen Carter [113]
“No, of course not, Lieutenant,” said the first officer, compelled into a hasty retraction by this unexpected opposition. “It’s entirely the captain’s decision when to give up the Heart.”
Yet Riker seriously questioned whether Picard would ever reach that decision on his own.
And just what am I going to do about that? he wondered as they all sped farther and farther toward nowhere.
CHAPTER 30
“Come,” called out Picard, and waited to see who would enter the ready room.
He had known there would be repercussions from his last set of orders. His involvement with the Heart was gathering momentum, and he was pulling his crew faster and faster along with him toward a murky climax that was beyond their understanding. It was beyond his, as well, or he would have tried harder to explain his actions. Their loyalty to him ran deep, but for how long could he take advantage of that faith?
“Do you ever put it down, Captain?”
Picard glanced up from his contemplation of the Heart to find that Counselor Troi had fixed him with a speculative look. It was a familiar expression, and one he had learned to distrust in the past.
“What are you talking about?” asked Picard, although he knew quite well what she meant.
Troi only smiled at his clumsy evasion.
“Its very presence seems to comfort you, physically as well as emotionally.”
Her observation was uncomfortably perceptive.
His ready room must have cooled by at least five degrees when life support services were reduced to conserve power, but Picard had barely felt the cold as long as he was in contact with the stone; and its weight, cupped in his hands or tucked in the crook of his arm, was a constant reminder of the protection it offered.
“So,” Troi persisted, “I couldn’t help wondering if setting the Heart aside distresses you. How long can you go without it?”
“Counselor,” said Picard with a forced smile, “you make it sound like an addiction.”
“Do I? That’s very interesting.”
“Oh, no,” he said with a shake of his head.
“I have no intention of getting drawn into a discussion about addiction and obsession. I can end this matter right here and now.”
Rising up from the sofa, the captain walked over to the far side of his office and tucked the stone on a high shelf. Stepping away from the wall unit, he said, “There, Counselor. Are you satisfied?”
“This is not something you must do to please me,” said the empath. Her dark eyes flitted up and down, measuring the distance from the floor to the shelf, a height that was well beyond her reach. “I only ask you to reflect on how the stone has affected you.
How do you feel about putting it away?”
“I feel nothing other than the desire to get a good night’s sleep.”
“Yes, you seem to spend much of your time alone these days.”
Really, there was no pleasing the woman.
“Would you prefer that I drop by Ten-Forward instead?”
“It’s not my preferences that are the issue, Captain. You should do what you wish.”
He uttered a mock groan. “And regardless of what I do, you’ll take notes and look pensive.”
“Probably,” said Troi with a good-natured laugh. “Good-night, Captain.”
The counselor walked out of the ready room, but her challenge concerning the Heart remained behind, taunting him. Even worse, the exchange with Troi revived memories of another warning.
It is not too late for me, T’Sara. I can still maintain control.
Picard shivered in the cool air and without thinking reached out for the Heart’s warmth.
He stopped himself before his fingers touched the rough surface of the stone, but the arrested motion seemed to rob him of an alternate purpose and direction. His original intention had been to resume his wait for a new dream to guide his next steps, but now the ready room seemed a bleak and uninviting place to sleep. Yet the thought of walking out onto the bridge filled him with a vague anxiety.
What should I do now?
Guinan looked out from under the broad brim of a burgundy bonnet. “Tea?” she asked of her new customer.
Picard nodded. “Tea.”
“One Earl Grey coming up.”
“No,” he said on impulse. “Not Earl Grey. I’ll have Srjula