The Dharma Bums - Jack Kerouac [25]
“Suits me,” said I, “whatever it is.” Also I’d known Princess before and had been mad about her, in the City, about a year ago. It was just another wild coincidence that she had happened to meet Japhy and fallen in love with him and madly too, she’d do anything he said. Whenever people dropped in to visit us at the cottage I’d always put my red bandana over the little wall lamp and put out the ceiling light to make a nice cool red dim scene to sit and drink wine and talk in. I did this, and went to get the bottle out of the kitchen and couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Japhy and Alvah taking their clothes off and throwing them every whichaway and I looked and Princess was stark naked, her skin white as snow when the red sun hits it at dusk, in the dim red light. “What the hell,” I said.
“Here’s what yabyum is, Smith,” said Japhy, and he sat crosslegged on the pillow on the floor and motioned to Princess, who came over and sat down on him facing him with her arms about his neck and they sat like that saying nothing for a while. Japhy wasn’t at all nervous and embarrassed and just sat there in perfect form just as he was supposed to do. “This is what they do in the temples of Tibet. It’s a holy ceremony, it’s done just like this in front of chanting priests. People pray and recite Om Mani Pahdme Hum, which means Amen the Thunderbolt in the Dark Void. I’m the thunderbolt and Princess is the dark void, you see.”
“But what’s she thinking?” I yelled almost in despair, I’d had such idealistic longings for that girl in that past year and had conscience-stricken hours wondering if I should seduce her because she was so young and all.
“Oh this is lovely,” said Princess. “Come on and try it.”
“But I can’t sit crosslegged like that.” Japhy was sitting in the full lotus position, it’s called, with both ankles over both thighs. Alvah was sitting on the mattress trying to yank his ankles over his thighs to do it. Finally Japhy’s legs began to hurt and they just tumbled over on the mattress where both Alvah and Japhy began to explore the territory. I still couldn’t believe it.
“Take your clothes off and join in, Smith!” But on top of all that, the feelings about Princess, I’d also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel.
“Pretty girls make graves,” was my saying, whenever I’d had to turn my head around involuntarily to stare at the incomparable pretties of Indian Mexico. And the absence of active lust in me had also given me a new peaceful life that I was enjoying a great deal. But this was too much. I was still afraid to take my clothes off; also I never liked to do that in front of more than one person, especially with men around. But Japhy didn’t give a goddamn hoot and holler about any of this and pretty soon he was making Princess happy and then Alvah Had a turn (with his big serious eyes staring in the dim light, and him reading poems a minute ago). So I said “How about me startin to work on her arm?”
“Go ahead, great.” Which I did, lying down on the floor with all my clothes on and kissing her hand, then her wrist, then up, to her body, as she laughed and almost cried with delight everybody everywhere working on her. All the peaceful celibacy of my Buddhism was going down the drain. “Smith, I distrust any kind of Buddhism or any kinda