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So you’ve heard about infants using the potty and think it’s a really interesting idea, but you’re not completely sure it’s for you. You’re not alone. I’ve met many parents who heard about EC just once, perhaps from a friend or through a magazine or newspaper article, and instantly decided this was something that they wanted to try; it simply resonated with them. For every parent who is this enthusiastic and certain from the start, however, there is another who is intrigued but hesitant to make the leap.

Feeling reluctant is a very understandable reaction. After all, we are surrounded by dictates not to “rush” or “pressure” our children, and are told not to even consider introducing our children to the toilet until they are much older. We even have the luxury of purchasing large-sized disposable diapers so that our children can take all the time in the world to potty train. Although these cultural messages may lead us to fear making a mistake unless we follow standard toilet training rules to the letter, they are actually teaching us to ignore our own child’s natural timetable. (You may recall, even when my older son’s readiness was positively staring me in the face, I still hesitated because I had absorbed the cultural message that he was far too young by our society’s standards.) Still others simply may not believe it is something a baby is even physically capable of, or they simply can’t comprehend how the mechanism of EC works with a young, preverbal baby.

The very first thing to remember about EC, and something you’ll hear me mention a lot, is that it is not about toilet training in the most commonly held view of the term. The reason many parents who practice EC dislike the word training in association with what they do is that this term has connotations that lead us away from the core of EC. EC is about communication, about gently getting in harmony with your baby, and proceeding at a pace that feels right for all of you. It’s about engaging in a give-and-take on a daily basis and honing those instincts (the same instincts that allow you to sense when your baby is hungry, tired, or overstimulated) that make parenting your own unique baby so rewarding. There’s nothing coercive, forced, or pressured about EC. You’re not involved in a power struggle with a toddler or preschooler who is firmly attached to her diaper. It’s not a race to get your baby out of diapers by a certain age. There are no expectations, except that you remain open to what your little one is saying to you. Most of all, it’s about learning and following your baby’s instinctive readiness signals—the ones she was born with.

Some parents may feel convinced that EC is good for parent and baby but are unable to imagine adding any further complications to their already-busy lives with an infant. In particular, the term diaper-free baby can be misleading to some people. I’ve met parents who were hesitant to embark on EC because they thought that this required their child to actually be completely free of diapers, and they couldn’t fathom the kind of extra work this might take. I’m always quick to reassure them that being “diaper-free” has a much broader meaning than just going diaperless. Sure, many EC’ing parents find that they naturally evolve toward a stage where having their young baby or toddler in underwear or training pants rather than in diapers makes more sense; they may be very much in tune and having few misses, or they may simply find that going diaper-free really facilitates the communication that is the cornerstone of EC. This is, however, not at all a prerequisite in any way. I really like how I’ve heard some experienced EC’ing parents define what “diaper-free” means to them: freedom from an exclusive reliance on diapers. It’s simply about knowing that you are not bound to diapers and that choosing to exclusively diaper your baby is not an inevitable part of parenting a new baby. If you choose to go diaper-free, it means you are making a choice about how much you wish to be dependent upon diapers. You’re following an easy rhythm