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A. Not all parents of boys experience this (individual anatomy seems to come into play), but those who do say that holding your baby while aiming his penis downward with your index finger as he’s peeing will do the trick. If you are holding your baby under his thighs in the newborn EC position, your index finger ought to be able to reach over from under his thighs and help aim things in the right direction. As he gets older and sits on a potty or toilet, you may still help aim his penis until he is able to do it on his own. In general, these pee-aiming issues will resolve when he’s no longer such a small baby.

Q. My child always poops while nursing. How can I EC her at these times?

A. It’s very common for newborns, whether they’re being EC’ed or not, to poop in the middle of a nursing session. Some babies will signal the impending elimination need by popping on and off the breast and appearing fussy or uncomfortable. They are more comfortable being held to poop, and then returning to the nursing session. Keep in mind that sometimes a poop can last a long time! With observation, you will begin to learn when your baby is fully done. There are also many babies who are most comfortable if you continue to nurse them while holding them. Since the newborn positions call for babies to be cradled in your arms, this is not difficult and a little practice or adjustment is all it takes. Be assured, they won’t always poop while nursing.

SIGNS THAT YOUR BABY HAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

Spitting up

Passing gas

Squirming

Straining

Any change in behavior (sudden fussiness, suddenly quiet after babbling, just seeming unsettled)

Timing (after naps, before and after going out)

Shivering

Kicking legs

Looking at you

Popping off the breast while nursing

TYPICAL TIMES FOR NEWBORNS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

Upon awakening

After coming out of a sling or car seat

Before, after, or during a feed

When diaper comes off for a diaper change

Parents Speak About Starting to EC a Newborn:

My son was just under three months old when we started. I was doing it part-time, and I tried to give him a few hours of diaper-free time every day. I think that because we started so slowly, it didn’t feel overwhelming. I just looked at our diaper-free time as a way to get in touch, and mostly just took note of when he peed, if he had any signals, etc. I also only did it when we were at home, at first, so we didn’t have to deal with what other people thought.

—STACY, MOM TO ORLANDO, 30 MONTHS

I found it much easier in the first few weeks to use no diapers, because diapers don’t really fit such small new babies, and you have to change them so frequently. We kept Jasmine on top of a large prefold diaper with a wool pad underneath it. It was so easy to just slide the flat diaper out from under her and slide in the new one. We learned her patterns and signals more easily and were catching most of her poops and pees. We found it to be cleaner and a lot more efficient to invest the time and energy up front in taking her to the potty, rather than having to clean up soiled diapers and her bottom.

—BRIDGET, MOM TO CARLY, 5, AND JASMINE, 3

I learned a lot of things about my son through EC. For those first months, it was all such a guessing game: was he tired? Hungry? Cold? Hot? It was anyone’s best guess, and even after I’d do something for him, I was never quite sure whether he really had been hungry or thirsty or whatever. But with this potty thing, it was a definite yes or no proposition. What a relief! Now we had a developing language, and our first word was “pssss.”

—SARABETH, MOM TO BEN, 8 MONTHS

I conventionally toilet trained my first two children. So far, EC with my third child is far easier and feels much more natural. Now that I’ve started, it feels very similar to breastfeeding on cue, in that I do it without really consciously thinking about it. Sometimes, especially when I’m busily interacting with the other two at the same time, I’ve undressed baby, held her on the bowl for a pee, and